Worth a Listen (a new feature: sharing great songs that are inspiring, uplifting and/or are otherwise “worth a listen”)
My oldest started high school today. High school! Several weeks back, a friend (thank you, Lord, for good friends for girls) introduced her to this song, Brit Nicole’s “Gold.” We got it on iTunes and our whole family has been listening to it non-stop pretty much ever since. This “about the song” video is beautiful, and describes the song and its message beautifully. Well worth getting this catchy tune into your head.
virtues
"A Realistic Voice for NFP": Q&A With Katie of "NFP and Me"
This month on Reading Catholic, I am determined to share some of the great recent resources on human sexuality out there. This will include blogs, podcasts, and other resources I’ve encountered as I reviewed this month’s column, Adam & Eve After the Pill: Paradoxes of the Sexual Revolution by Mary Eberstadt and My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Dawn Eden. (In case you missed it, I featured a Q&A with Mandi of Catholic Newlywed about her “Broken” series last week.)
Today, I’m delighted to get a chance to introduce readers of The Catholic Post to Katie , a medical student who writes a smart, terrific blog called, “NFP & Me.”
I first discovered Katie on Twitter (where Katie is @NFPandMe I am @ReadingCatholic), when she began posting links to wonderful buttons about “I Use NFP” (and inviting people to share them on Twitter with the hashtag #iuseNFP). But she’s been blogging and spreading the great word about NFP for some time. Just this month, Katie also had several articles in the latest issue of Our Sunday Visitor Newsweekly on NFP (coinciding with NFP Awareness Week).
Katie graciously agreed to do a Q&A for the Reading Catholic blog this month, even though she is in her surgery rotation in medical school. If you’re not familiar with Katie, please take a moment to go over to her blog and visit. Thanks, Katie!
Q. Tell Reading Catholic readers a little bit about yourself, your family, and how you began blogging.
Well my name is Katie, I’m 24 years old, married, and a dog mom to Jack. I’m currently in my third year of medical school. I’m Italian, but not like Snooki. I’m a crazy dog lady and so is my husband (only not a lady). Seriously, you may see us on animal hoarders someday. ☺
I started blogging by the grace of God. I have a friend who is a fantastic writer, really superb, and I would call him with my ideas of things he should write about. God love him, but he’s not the most reliable. He would never write about my fantastic ideas. He unfortunately quit blogging so I decided that I should give it a try. God had really put it on my heart for a few months and I decided to just go for it.
Q. This is kind of a goofy question, but why did you name your blog NFP and Me? Could you tell us what you hope to accomplish with your blog?
I have no idea where the name came from. I knew I wanted to blog about NFP but I hadn’t thought of actually giving it a name. In fact I didn’t even read blogs at the time so I didn’t exactly have examples. I do remember thinking “Well this rhymes.” and decided to run with it.
Mostly my goal for my blog is to be a realistic voice for NFP. When I started using it I was so scared of it. I thought it didn’t work, I thought it was only for crazy people. I was the ultimate skeptic and I know there are countless women out there who were just like me. I just want to be a voice of reassurance, someone who isn’t the holiest snootiest women on earth sharing her fears. There’s an invaluable resource in camaraderie and commiserating. I’ve built more genuine friendships out of my blog than I could have ever hoped for. I guess that’s a roundabout way of saying I didn’t even have hopes for it because I didn’t think anyone would read it. In fact I’m still surprised anyone reads it, I think Google Analytics may be lying to me. ☺
Q. My number one favorite recent post from your blog is “Tell Me Why,” contrasting a popular song lyrics (liberation) with quotes from John Paul II (oppression?) : . Love! Do you have a favorite post, or two or three that would really give Reading Catholic readers a feel for your blog?
I have to admit, I’m a big fan of Tell Me Why too. If there’s minimal writing on my part, I’m for it. I think my favorite post is We Were Wrong (note from Nancy: love this one, too! well worth a read) . It’s about the discourse between the pro-life stance and the way pro-lifers act. A woman read it who is post abortive and responded how much it meant to her to not be met with judgment, but love. I couldn’t ask for more out of a post.
Q. Your website IuseNFP.com is newly launched, with a lot of great graphics and content. What do you hope to do with the website over time?
Oh, what don’t we hope to do with it? Ha! Ultimately we hope our site is a safe place where women can find comprehensive information about their natural family planning options. We want to be a place for every woman, no matter her religion, to feel comfortable asking questions and seeking information.
Q. Could you explain about the IuseNFP buttons, and how people can use them on their sites and to share?
We want the buttons to be a simple fun way for people to share that they use NFP. My experience with evangelizing NFP has always been a struggle. Most women don’t use it and there’s always that question mark on young couples in Mass who don’t have kids (couples like my husband and me). The buttons are easy little things that people can share on Facebook, pin to Pinterest, or put on their blog to let people know “Hey, people actually use NFP.” We want the buttons to be fun and modern. We can’t keep throwing babies, however cute they may be, at women. We’re competing with people like Planned Parenthood and we have an obligation to advertise just as, if not more, effectively than they do.
Q. You’re a busy medical student. Why spend time blogging at all? about NFP?
Because I’m called to it. I’m not a gifted writer, I don’t have the most fabulous ideas, I’m not freaking Marc Barnes but God put this on my heart for a reason. When I started this I thought it was there because I had a lot to say but in the year I’ve been blogging I realized it’s because I have a lot to learn. If I can document my learning process in a way that’s relatable to people that can maybe help just one person then I have an obligation to do it.
We have too many bloggers telling people what to believe and how to act but we don’t have a lot showing how they believe or how they came to believe and doing it with humility. Fortunately for me, being in medical school keeps me pretty humble, let’s just hope I figure out the showing aspect pretty soon. 😉
Q&A on the "Broken" Series by Mandi of Catholic Newlywed
This month on Reading Catholic, I am determined to share some of the great recent resoures on human sexuality out there. This will include blogs, podcasts, and other resources I’ve encountered as I reviewed for this month’s column on two great new books, Adam & Eve After the Pill: Paradoxes of the Sexual Revolution by Mary Eberstadt and My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Dawn Eden.
Today, I’m honored to get a chance to introduce readers of Reading Catholic and The Catholic Post to Mandi, who writes a charming blog called, “Catholic Newlywed.” Mandi began a series on her blog this year called “Broken,” that I want to share with The Catholic Post readers. Mandi, thanks for your willingness to share, and for your great series that I hope even more people will discover. Here’s Mandi, her husband and daughter:
Q. Tell Reading Catholic readers a little bit about yourself, your family, and how you began blogging.
I started my blog in late 2010, shortly after marrying my husband. We had a long distance relationship, so when we married, I moved far away from my family and friends and was craving friendship with like-minded Catholic women. Since then, we welcomed our first child, Lucia, last December and my blog is now a combination of faith, family life, keeping house, and the everyday musings of a Catholic wife and mother.
Q. How did you get the idea for the “Broken” series?
I was in a “broken” relationship myself several years ago and continue to feel the scars it has left behind. During the two and a half years that it lasted, I felt very alone and ashamed, without anyone to confide in. In the time since then, I have realized that my experiences were not nearly as rare as I thought they were. Slowly, I came to learn that many of the women I had daily contact with had been in similar damaging relationships, but we all felt isolated and alone. “Broken” is an attempt to provide a channel for speaking out about these relationships.
Q. What do you hope that women will take away from the “Broken” series?
I started “Broken” in hopes that it would be a resource for women to gain knowledge, advice, and strength from others who have been in similar damaging relationships. I believe that had I had more access to “real life” stories from other women, I would have been able to identify my relationship as abusive before it had gone too far and hopefully would have had the strength to get out early. Discussing and reading about others’ experiences have also helped me to view mine more critically and finally heal some of those wounds. I thought that if this has helped me, perhaps it will help other women. My ultimate goal is that perhaps just one young woman will read these stories and be able to completely avoid damaging relationships because of them.
Q. The series is primarily about women’s experiences. Have you had any feedback from men, and what do you hope men reading the series will “get” from it?
This is a great question! I originally started this series for women and still tend to think of it as geared toward them; however, women are not the only victims of damaging relationships. I recently received an email from a woman who shared that her son is in an abusive relationship. I would love the opportunity to share stories of broken relationships from the male perspective, although I think that men are still a little more reticent about discussing those experiences (but all the more reason they need to be shared). If there are any men that would like to write a piece, please don’t hesitate to contact me – your voice is important and I do publish pieces anonymously upon request!
This series can benefit all men in that it gives them a window into the lives of women who have endured damaging relationships. Since so many women will be in an abusive relationship of some kind in their lifetime, there is a high probability that a man will marry a woman who retains the scars of a past abusive relationship. It’s important that they are able to understand and identify the scars that their loved ones carry. Fathers also need to be aware of the kind of relationships that they need to prepare their daughters for and warn them against.
Q. Do you have a “favorite” or most-important to read in the series? I read through each of the selections, and all were so important, well-written and handle tough topics sensitively. In particular, the post titled, “He didn’t really love me and want to protect me. He wanted to control me” was especially well-done. Do you have one you consider a must-read?
I think they all discuss different important aspects of damaging relationships. Each woman’s experience is different, so I think it is important to get as many stories as possible out there. I’m hesitant to say that one is better than the other because each person will be affected by each one differently. The ones that have been most healing for me based on my past experiences may not have the same meaning for someone else. I think all the women who have shared have been extremely courageous in telling their story.
Q. Do you see this as an ongoing series, or do you plan to wrap it up at some time in the future?
As long as there are people willing to share, I will be open to continuing the series. I think there are many aspects that still need to be addressed. Particularly, I would be interested in pieces from friends and family of those in damaging relationships. I would also like pieces that are more advice-based in nature, for example, “how to identify warning signs of a damaging relationship,” or “what to do if someone you know was in an abusive relationship.”
Q. Is there anything else you would like to add, or wish I would have asked?
Many of the pieces that have been written so far have dealt with physical or sexual abuse; however, I envisioned the series to include all relationships that are “damaging”. Many women (and men) have been in relationships that have left them feeling broken even though their relationships may not meet the definition of abusive. Relationships in which one person is constantly belittled, in which infidelity is a factor, or which left one (or both) members scarred is a broken relationship. These stories have a place in the series as well.
Although I have already addressed this in several questions above, I would like to add that I am always taking new pieces. If someone reading this feel like he/she has something to contribute, even if it isn’t on a topic I’ve specific addressed interest in, please contact me at catholicnewlywed@gmail.com.
After the Revolution, Rotten Fruit, Discouragement–And Hope
During my college years in the 1980s, I was a (nominal) cradle Catholic, and fairly immersed in the college culture of the time. I was especially drawn to various trendy, or what we called back in the day “politically correct,” ideas and philosophies.
Exhibit A: I thought Gloria Steinem, who spoke at our campus, was glamorous and made terrific sense.
All joking about Gloria Steinem aside, by far the most memorable speaker was a beautiful young woman, a former porn film worker, who gave a speech (from a feminist perspective) on the evils of pornography.
It gave me–to this day–an implacable hatred of porn as something bad for women and corrosive to society.
I’m incredibly grateful for that speaker, who opened my eyes at such an early age of the high cost of “anything goes.” But it was awful to sit through and to hear.
Mary Eberstadt’s Adam and Eve After the Pill: Paradoxes of the Sexual Revolution reminds me of hearing that speech. This book is not enjoyable –in fact, reading it can be downright discouraging. But it is a must-read in understanding, “the moral core of the sexual revolution (is) the abundant evidence that its fruits have been rottenest for women and children.”
Every single essay-chapter is important and stands alone. It’s hard to pick out a best chapter, but “The Will to Disbelieve” is crucial in setting up the notion that society at large is largely ignoring the clear results of the sexual revolution, much the same way the “the moral facts about the Cord War remained disputed at the highest intellectual levels, especially on American campuses, until about two seconds before the Berlin Wall came down.”
Perhaps the only hopeful chapter of Adam and Eve After the Pill is “‘Pedophia Chic’ Then and Now” which outlines how just a few short decades ago, pedophilia was more in vogue and even defended in the public square such as mainstream magazine articles. Ebertstadt writes that it is “a small case of small but real moral progress that bodes a little better for the youngest and most innocent among us, even as it confirms that the sexual revolution has made the world a more dangerous place for them.”
Hope may be hard to come by when reading Adam and Eve After the Pill, but hope and peace suffuse My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Catholic convert Dawn Eden.
In many ways, My Peace I Give You is a personal testimonial to the rotten fruits documented in Adam and Eve After the Pill. As a child of divorce, Eden experienced sexual abuse in various settings, then as a young adult lived promiscuously to “take control” of her sexuality. But wholeness and true happiness remained elusive.
In Eden’s 2006 international bestseller, The Thrill of the Chaste, Eden wrote about discovering the appeal that modesty and sexual restraint offer, but had not yet come to terms with the legacy of abuse in her life.
During and after her conversion to Catholicism, Eden sees that healing from those sexual wounds is ongoing and a work of the Holy Spirit, through specific saints who provide solace on the journey.
As she writes to the many who are childhood sexual abuse victim, “I want you to know you are not alone, you are not forgotten, and you have more friends in heaven than you realize.”
My Peace I Give Youis part memoir and part meditations on what the saints can teach us about wholeness of body, mind and spirit, even in the face of searing memories and experiences.
Some of the saints in My Peace I Give You are victims of sexual abuse; some are not; but in Eden’s heartfelt and careful reflection, all have something to offer those who have undergone abuse, or those whose hearts breaks for them.
This column appears on the book page of the print Catholic Post this weekend. It’s an interesting, I would venture to say providential, “coincidence,” that this review appears here on the feast day of St. Maria Goretti. Eden in particular has an insightful chapter in her book My Peace I Give You on this much-known but little-understood saint.
A Great Kids Book: The 7 Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey
In my occasional series of highlighting great picture books that are worth “having,” not just reading, here’s another “great kids book”:
As I mentioned in my review of The Temperament God Gave Your Kids, I am a big fan of “numbers” books–the 7 Habits, the 5 Love Languages. There’s something about categorizing personality types, productivity and self-improvement that I find irresistible. It just helps me understand these kind of concepts better, as well as put them into practice.
High on the list of these books is The 7 Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey, son of Stephen Covey, who brought the world the many 7 Habits books. My favorite “7 Habits” book for grown-ups, not surprisingly, is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, though I have certainly read quite a few of the series at one time or another.
But truly, if you want a great distillation of the “7 Habits,” as well as teaching certain concepts/virtues to yourself or your children in a relatable way, nothing beats The 7 Habits of Happy Kids.
In the book, Sean Covey creates the sylvan community of “7 Oaks” populated with cutesy (but not too cutesy) animal characters like Goob Bear, Jumper Rabbit and Sophie Squirrel. (Stacy Curtis provides the charming illustrations). Each of the 7 Habits is illustrated in a story featuring several of the animal characters. For “Have a Plan” (which corresponds to the Covey habit “Begin with the End in Mind”), Goob Bear plans carefully how he will spend his lemonade-stand earnings, and Jumper Rabbit does not. Jumper blows all his money on junky toys and candy, while Goob buys the bug-collecting kit he previously spotted, as well as some other well-planned treats.
We’ve read The 7 Habits of Happy Kids many times at our house, both as a group and and individually. I put it out from time to time so kids can peruse it again. We always come away with fresh insights. At one time, though my now-aging children deny it, we had a song to go along with the 7 Habits that I found very catchy and endearing. Even if our song didn’t stick, I’m hoping the message of the 7 Habits did.
"14 Minutes": Life, Death, and Faith
Here is my column that appears in this weekend’s print edition of The Catholic Post. I write in my review how I liked it because I’m a runner, but this isn’t just a book for runners–it’s a book for people who like good books!
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Pop quiz: Who created the following prayer?
Please, Mother, when I die, don’t let me be afraid. Bring me straight to heaven to your son Jesus.
When I first read it, I thought, is that St. Therese, the Little Flower? I’m pretty sure it’s not St. Francis, but it does sound a bit like him. Maybe one of the obscure early child martyrs?
Wrong on all counts. It was a spontaneous prayer–repeated throughout his life– by a child who had just witnessed something terrible-rescuers unsuccessfully try to revive a drowned boy.
That child grew up to be a regular person. Okay, maybe not so regular—he’s Alberto Salazar, one of the finest distance runners ever, three-time winner of the New York Marathon and part of America’s glory days of running in the late 1970s and early 1980s.
Salazar, with help from gifted sportswriter John Brant, writes about this prayer—and a whole lot more—in 14 Minutes: A Running Legend’s Life and Death and Life
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. The “14 minutes” refers to how long Salazar was without a heartbeat after experiencing a massive heart attack in 2007. 14 Minutes chronicles that (and another) near-death experience, as well as his youth growing up as a Cuban-American immigrant, his dramatic running career, and current life as coach of the Nike Oregon Project, a training program for top distance runners.
Mid-book, he writes, “I am not trying to portray myself as a religious expert here, any more than I tried to make a political point when describing my father’s relationship with Castro; I’m simply relating my own experiences and interpretations.”
Instead, 14 Minutes is the memoir of someone who has lived through much, including: the excesses inherent in becoming a world-class athlete; the heartbreak of injuries and illness that cut his career short; family dysfunction and healing; depression and mental health issues; and a reflective Catholic faith.
Salazar sees the hand of God in every part of his life, but writes, “You have to look hard and long for it and accept that most of the time the touch will remain ineffable.”
14 Minutes reveals a spiritually and emotionally mature Salazar, who looks back on his achievements and his mistakes with equal measure of humility and compassion.
My disclaimer here is that I am a runner, but that isn’t why I liked 14 Minutes so much. Even though I’ve finished a marathon, all I wanted to do was finish, unlike Salazar, who confides to a close friend in college that he plans to set a world record in the marathon (and then does just that). It’s clear from the earliest chapters that Salazar is in a different category than the rest of us, when it comes to running.
So while there aren’t training tips to be gleaned from 14 Minutes, readers will learn much about persistence, maturity and faith, all wrapped up in a great sports story.
As I’ve said many times before, I’m decidedly not a fan of the current trend of irreverent semi-fictional memoirs, often written by people far too young to be reflecting on their life “so far.”
But as Sir Walter Scott wrote, “There is no life of a man, faithfully recorded, but is a heroic poem of its sort, rhymed or unrhymed.” A well-told memoir like 14 Minutes is a testimony to the heroic in one man’s life, and offers each reader a chance to reflect on the heroic is every person.