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St. Therese

Guest Post: “A Beautiful Life Surrounded by and Knowing Nothing but Love”

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I’m humbled today to present a guest post from Teresa Lutz, a local mom, on a book I reviewed this month, Karen Edmisten’s After Miscarriage.  Here’s my review of that book.

I don’t know whether to say it was coincidental or something else that when I first received my review copy of After Miscarriage, within a few days I learned of three women in my circle of friends and acquaintances suffered stillbirths or miscarriages.  I sent each of the women copies of the book, hoping it would provide comfort and support at some point, either now or in the future. 

Teresa felt ready to share some thoughts about the book with me, and when I asked her if she would guest post about it, she readily agreed.

Teresa is wife to Mike and mom to two beautiful boys.   She is a stay at home mom and works part time as an oncology nurse.

My husband and I were very excited to learn that we would be welcoming our third child into our family.  We were shocked and heartbroken to find out at our 20-week ultrasound that our baby had a fatal neural tube defect called anencephaly.  This meant that very early in my pregnancy her skull had not formed completely and as a result, she would be born with little brain tissue.
Her life expectancy was minutes or hours, if she made it through delivery.  We decided to celebrate the gift of her life while she was still with us and spent the remainder of my pregnancy cherishing every moment.  We were blessed with 36 weeks to love and care for our daughter before she went to Heaven.  Gianna Therese was stillborn on February 19th 2012.
I found Karen Edmisten’s After Miscarriage to be comforting and practical at the same time. It gave both an insight into what other women have experienced after the loss of their babies, but also offered suggestions and information for women who may have recently gone through a miscarriage or stillbirth. The quotes, prayers and Bible passages help to provide perspective and hope to the struggles one might be facing.
I was actually surprised to find that most of the chapters made a lot of sense – I almost felt like I could have written some of them!
For instance, Edmisten even includes a passage from her journal stating that she was dreading going to the dentist and having to explain that her baby had died. I have also been dreading my upcoming dentist appointment.
It didn’t occur to me that other people had experienced those feelings of anxiety when faced with explaining to practical strangers why we are no longer pregnant, yet don’t have a baby, either.
The book was easy to read through, but isn’t one that necessarily needs to be read cover to cover. I was given a different book by my doctor which was in a similar format, but almost too lengthy. I will definitely suggest After Miscarriage to him.
Although the author does touch on both the topics of stillbirth and miscarriage, I could see how some people having gone through a late miscarriage or stillbirth might feel like it doesn’t completely apply to them, especially if they didn’t make it through the first few chapters.
Overall, I found it was a very helpful book – especially as a Catholic mother. At a time like this, it is good to read a book that provides both practical and spiritual comfort.
Nancy again here: I recalled, though I was not able to attend Gianna’s funeral, that several friends shared that the reflection shared by Teresa and her husband at the funeral was beautiful.  Teresa also agreed to share this with Catholic Post readers:
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Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”
Gianna Therese had a beautiful life surrounded by and knowing nothing but love.  She was surrounded by love in the womb and we believe was carried directly to the waiting arms of God.  We as Catholic parents, are called by our vocation of marriage, to strive above all else to work toward helping our children arrive in Heaven someday.  The Church and our faith tell us to have confidence in God’s unending love and mercy for even the littlest souls.  How can we not be filled with joy?
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly” – Sam Keen
Gianna was not “perfect” in the worldly sense.  She was not meant to be with us long on this earth and we knew that from early on. Some people have thought that we carried Gianna to term because we don’t believe in abortion, because we are Catholic, or perhaps we weren’t given the option to do otherwise.  While some of these factors might have played a part in our immediate refusal to “terminate”, this is not what it is about.  It is about love!  It was about our child that was given to us as a gift to love and protect! Gianna’s life had value from the moment of conception, just as every life does.
 We do not possess more strength than other people.  It is not because we can cope where others wouldn’t. There was no way to avoid the sad fact that Gianna could not live long after birth, but causing her death earlier would not stop this from happening.  Causing her death would have only taken from us the beautiful experience of knowing and loving her and allowing others to do the same.  We wouldn’t wish away the time we had with Gianna to save us the tremendous pain of losing her.  Was it worth it?  YES!  We had the chance to hold Gianna, to see her and to love her before letting go.  Love your children, and remember that they each have their own unique mission.  Children are always and only a blessing from God – even if they don’t stay very long.
Our daughter’s short life and certain death has prompted some wonderful things.  This is our prayer as a family.  “We gladly offer our baby back to You God, and endure the sorrowful pain of missing the soul we have come to love.  If our offering prompts just one soul to grow closer to You, we offer Gianna with greater joy than the sorrow we are feeling.”
We appreciate the love, support and prayers we have received more than we can ever express with words.  We have felt peace throughout this entire journey and although we are so sad and hurting, we know we are not alone.  May God Bless you all for sharing this journey with us!

Meet a Reader: Sharon Weiss

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I‘m delighted to feature this month a longtime friend, Dr. Sharon Weiss. Many thanks, Sharon, for sharing your love of reading here!

How You Know Me:   Readers would know me because of my connection to Catholic schools.  I am celebrating my 33rd year in Catholic education where I was a French and German teacher at Academy of Our Lady/Spalding Institute.  When the schools consolidated in 1989 and became PND, I taught French, German, & Psychology and was a freshman/sophomore counselor. In 2003, I was hired as the Principal at St. Patrick School in Washington.  I thoroughly enjoy this leadership role as I am able to maintain focus on faith formation and a strong curriculum for our children and the families we serve.

My parish is St. Patrick Church in Washington, where I have been a member for 2 years.  Previouisly, I was a member of St. Peter’s Church in Peoria where I worshipped after my reception into the Catholic Faith in 1993 until I became a member of St. Pat’s.

My most cherished and primary vocation is mother and grandmother:  I have a son, David, and a grandson, Gabriel.  They are my joy!  I thank God for them each day as they are His love letter to me.

Why I love reading:


I have always loved reading!  When I am reading for enjoyment, it expands the imaginative and creative side of me.  When I read for professional development, it helps me to stay current on best practices in education in order to ensure academic excellence.  When I read for spiritual growth, it reminds me of my vocation and service to Christ and His Church.

What I’m reading now:

I have been reading The Four Teresas by Gina Loehr.  The four Teresas– Therese of Lisieux, Teresa of Avila, Teresa Benedicta of the Cross and Mother Teresa–are all beautiful examples of women who loved God with their whole hearts, minds and souls.  I read little parts of the book when I am in front of the Blessed Sacrament and ask our Lord to teach me how to imitate these holy women in my personal and professional life.

For enjoyment, I just completed The Hunger Games triology!  WOW!  I found the cultural premise of these books fascinating, and I was amazed at how many of my junior high students have read them!  I have enjoyed discussing these books with some of the students.

My favorite book:

My all-time favorite book has been and continues to be Jane Eyre.  Its theme of redemptive love is powerful and hopeful.

Advent Book Giveaway #3: Olivia’s Gift

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Third book in the Advent Book Giveaway is Olivia’s Gift by Nancy Carabio Belanger.  Olivia’s Gift was one of the highlights of my December 2010 Christmas gift books column in the Catholic Post.

This book is a great read for girls especially in the 5th to 8th grade range.  As I wrote previously:  “Olivia’s Gift follows Olivia in her summer before 7th grade, navigating friends, family and trying (and not always succeeding) to live out St. Therese’s “Little Way.”  There’s a very powerful, but sensitively handled, pro-life theme here. The book is a sequel to the wonderful Olivia and the Little Way, that chronicles Olivia’s fifth grade year and her ups & downs.  The books can be read independently of each other, but most girls will want to read both once they’ve read one.”

I’m embarrassed to say that Nancy sent me a copy of the novel last year for a giveaway, and I had all planned to give away a copy of the book back then.  But if I remember correctly, a bout of the flu took me out for quite a bit of that season, and I couldn’t manage all I had intended for the blog.   Month after month I kept thinking I would manage a giveaway of Olivia’s Gift sometime during the year, but it didn’t happen until now.  But truly, it would be a great Christmas gift for a young girl in your life.

Here are the rules for this giveaway and all the books in the giveaway.  You must comment on the blog post or posts giving away the book.  So, if you are interested in Olivia’s Gift, leave a comment here on this post.

In addition, if you are the winner, I will let you know via comment if I do not have an e-mail or a way to reach you.  If you do not respond in two days, I’ll pull another name.  That’s it!  Couldn’t be easier.

If you are not a winner in this giveaway, I notice that Harvey House publishing, publisher of Olivia’s Gift, has a free shipping offer for books ordered before December 16, so do take advantage of that special offer.

Deadline for this giveaway is Sunday, December 4, at 7 p.m. Central Time.

A Therese for Everyone

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Did anyone else notice how many Teresas are connected to October?  No matter how she is spelled, Therese or Teresa has a hold on this month.  The month starts with St. Therese, the “Little Flower’s” feast on October 1; St. Teresa of Avila’s feast is  October 15; and at least two others Teresas were beatified or canonized in October—Mother Teresa and St. Teresa Benedicta a Cruce, better known as St. Edith Stein.  And books, including several newer titles, abound on these great holy women.

If you must choose only one book about the Teresas, make it Shirt of Flame: A Year with Saint Therese of Lisieux  by Heather King.  This is kind of a spiritual biography of St. Therese, and partly a memoir of King’s Catholic life.   King is best known for her memoir Parched about her life recovering from an addition to alcohol, and Redeemed, chronicling her conversion to Catholicism.
Each chapter of Shirt of Flame is a month and a theme from Therese’s life—for instance, October’s theme is “The Story of A Soul (On Offering Up Our Work). “  You will see Therese in a deeper and different way after reading Shirt of Flame, and you yourself will be different.   Consider this quote from July:  The Little Way (On the Martyrdom of Everyday Life):
“We can try, at great personal sacrifice, to be perfectly righteous, a perfect friend, perfectly responsive, perfectly available, perfectly forgiving.  But at the heart of our efforts must lie the knowledge that, by ourselves, we can do, heal, or correct nothing.  The point is not to be perfect, but to “perfectly” leave Christ to do, heal, and correct in us what he wills.”

The end-of-chapter prayers (written by King) are worth the price of the book alone.  The prayers, like the reflections throughout, help us learn from St. Therese about the brokenness in all of us, and how Christ is there, too.
Shirt of Flame had me noticing how similar were the spiritual darknesses of St. Therese and Blessed Teresa of Calcutta.  Both experienced a dryness that persisted until the end of life, after times of consolation; both sought holiness through little actions.  As Mother Teresa wrote to a spiritual director, “If I ever become a saint—I will surely be one of ‘darkness.’  I will continually be absent from heaven—to light the light of those in darkness on earth.”  Here, she deepens as she echoes St. Therese’s famous promise, “After my death, I will let fall a shower of roses. I will spend my heaven doing good upon earth.” 
This Mother Teresa letter, and many others, are collected and organized by MC (Missionary of Charity) Father Brian Kolodiejchuk in 2007’s Come Be My Light:  The Private Writings of the “Saint of Calcutta.”  The book is quite comprehensive, almost overwhelming at times, in its recounting of Mother’s retreats, letters and other assorted documents.  Gems like the “saint of darkness” quote above, make it worthwhile.
A completely different, and much lighter, book, than either of the above, is the engaging new Mother Teresa and Me by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle, about the author’s many encounters over the years with Mother Teresa, from a chance meeting in Washington, D.C., to a long-running correspondence.  Each chapter is charmingly framed with a reprint of a letter Mother wrote to her. 

Some of my favorite parts of Mother Teresa and Me:  Blessed Teresa was fond of “express novenas,” (yes, that’s what Mother Teresa called them) saying the Memorare nine times in a row, instead of over the course of nine days.  Who knew? As one who frequently forgets about mid-way through a novena, this has definite appeal to me.  I also found Cooper O’Boyle’s memories of Fr. John Hardon, S.J. enlightening, and a nice addition to this volume.
This is my October column that appears in this weekend’s Catholic Post.  Come back all month long here at the book group blog for discussion on books about saints named Teresa, author interviews, and more.