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Catholic Post column

A Healing New Book for Coping With Miscarriage

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Are you a member of the sisterhood?  No one wants to be, but many women are among those who have miscarried or have a stillborn child.  Every woman handles it differently, and every woman grieves differently.  A well-designed new book by Karen Edmisten, After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman’s Companion to Healing & Hope, helps provide comfort and support to those who have gone through this.
I experienced a miscarriage when I was newly married, many years ago.  But even after nearly two decades, I found this book very healing to read and ponder.
Edmisten shares the stories of many different women who have gone through miscarriage or stillbirth, and the differences and similarities of each woman’s experience. She also candidly shares journal entries of times from her multiple pregnancy losses.   The book also includes additional resources for grieving, support and further reading.
I so appreciate how nicely designed the book is—the square shape is particularly appealing and had a good “feel” to it.  After Miscarriage would be a great resource for the many women who are part of “the sisterhood,” and for those who love them.

Word on Fire

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Following is my April column that appears in this weekend’s The Catholic Post.  I loved the idea of a Bible that makes lectio divina practically effortless, and I also point readers to a great book for an introduction and “why you should” consider lectio.  I invite your feedback here or on Facebook or Twitter.
Here’s the problem for a book reviewer:  how do you review the Bible?
Potential review: I laughed, I cried, I was moved.
Pros: I love the author.
Cons: it’s really, really long.
Cue The Catholic Prayer Bible: Lectio Divina Edition, published by Paulist Press and edited by Lawrence Boadt, CSP.  This well-designed Bible makes lectio divina—“divine reading”–doable for the average Catholic.
So I confess that this isn’t really a review of the Bible as text, but rather showing how this edition of the Bible is built on the ancient Christian practice of lectio divina, a prayerful way to read (lectio) the Divine Word of God.
I’ve seen lectio divina broken into various numbers of steps, from four to seven, but Fr. Boadt provides four:  Read, Reflect, Pray and Act.
Fr. Boadt recommends sticking with an entire book of Scripture and not just jumping around, but I’m grateful to see that he’s not recommending that one read the Bible start to finish.  I tried that way back in my 20s when a Protestant friend gave me a schedule for reading the Bible in one year.  I got somewhere into Numbers before I gave up, an utter failure.
I hope that increased maturity, and the accountability of having to write about it here and on the blog, will help me to be better about making Scripture reading & prayer part of my day. But it’s The Catholic Prayer Bible itself that makes it much more achievable.
The Catholic Prayer Bible is simply laid out.  The Scripture itself takes up two-thirds of the page, with a small box of lectio divina reflections for each of the four steps (Read, Reflect, Pray, Act) in a small dark red box on the remaining third.  There are short prompts for each of the steps.  For instance, in John 13:1-30, where Jesus washes his disciples’ feet, the “Act” step is: Perform some humble service for another, especially someone who is dear to you.”
I love how The Catholic Prayer Bible makes it painless and even easy to jump in, right now, to incorporate lectio divinainto a busy life.
The Scripture readings are short, bite-sized portions, no more than several dozen verses.   It’s not an overwhelming amount of text to “get through” through before praying and reflecting.
The Catholic Prayer Bible helps slow fast readers down.   I’m a fast reader in general; that’s helpful as a book reviewer.  But when reading Scripture, I find it difficult to just slooow down and savor.  Having just a few verses to read, reflect, pray and act on makes that “slowing down” much easier.
The “Act” prompts, in particular, helps the reader come away with a specific resolution to bring into everyday-ness.  Even when I found the “Act” suggestion unhelpful or not relevant, it prompted me to make a resolution of my own to bring Scripture into my life.
If you want more of the “how-to” and why of lectio divina, as well as a beautiful, easy-to-read history and reflection, consider the recent Praying Scripture for a Change: An Introduction to Lectio Divina. The book is by Dr. Tim Gray, best known for partnering with Jeff Cavins in developing The Great Adventure Bible Study series.
Gray says, “If you have trouble praying, then welcome to the human race.”  Praying Scripture for a Change offers reasons and practical tips of how lectio divina can work to help us get over our natural inclinations not to jump into prayer.  This book inspired me to consider deeply why it’s important to let God speak to me through Scripture.
Reading Praying for a Change will give you the desire to incorporate lectio divina into your prayer life.  Using The Catholic Prayer Bible will make it easy for you to start.  Then, prepare to reap the real spiritual and temporal benefits of this ancient practice.

Meet a Reader: Emily Stimpson

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This month’s “reader” is an author with local roots.  My review of her new book is in the current print Catholic Post  Thanks, Emily!  I look forward to meeting you at the Behold Conference in just a few days.
 
 
 
How you know me: I’m a contributing editor to “Our Sunday Visitor,” a blogger for CatholicVote, and the author of The Catholic Girl’s Survival Guide for the Single Years. Although I now live just outside of Pittsburgh (in Steubenville, Ohio), I was born and raised in Rock Island, attended Jordan Catholic School, and go to Mass at St. Mary’s Parish when I’m home visiting my parents, Gary and Ricki Stimpson. Most of my family still lives in the Peoria diocese, including my second cousin Adam, who is parochial vicar for three parishes in LaSalle, and my aunt Susie Budde, who directs choirs for both Sacred Heart Rock Island and Sacred Heart Moline.
Why I love reading: Story-telling, at its best, is truth-telling. A good story gives flesh to all that’s beautiful and true. That helps us discover worlds and ideas beyond our imagining. It also helps us discover much more familiar territory: the human heart.
What I’m reading now:  It’s Lent, so I’ve had to lay aside the Agatha Christie murder mystery I was reading and pick up my normal Lenten fare, Dante’s Divine Comedy. Every Lent my goal is to make it all the way from the beginning of Dante and Virgil’s tour through Hell in the Infernoto Dante’s reunion with his lost love Beatrice in the Paradiso. That literary journey helps me understand the journey every soul is on in this life. It also reminds me why we Catholics do what we do during Lent—what all that praying, fasting, and sacrificing is about.
My favorite book: I love too many books to pick just one, so I always tell people I have favorite authors more than favorite books, writers who’ve changed the way I see the world and the life I’m living. At the top of that list are C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, and John Paul II: Lewis for his clarity, Chesterton for his sense of wonder, and John Paul II for his theology of the body, which is really an articulation of the Incarnation and what it means to be a human person. If I had to add one more, it would be P.G. Wodehouse: He’s a master of wit and words. A regular dose of his work keeps my writing sharp, quick, and tight.

A Catholic Girl’s Survival Guide for the Single Years

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If you get the print edition of The Catholic Post, you’ll notice the book page’s “Meet a Reader” feature this month is a writer with local roots (updated the link)—Emily Stimpson, author of The Catholic Girl’s Survival Guide for the Single Years.

Stimpson’s book is a must-read for young Catholic women.  There’s sensible advice about everything from dating to careers to married friends, and so much more, all from an optimistic and realistic Catholic perspective.   I have so many books I want to (and frankly, “have to”) read, but I enjoyed every chapter of this engaging book because of Stimpson’s spirited and honest voice.  I even breezed through  (and found interesting!) the closing “bibliographic essay” with a wealth of resources for further reading and discussion.

If you’re married already, reading A Catholic Girls’ Survival Guide makes you say, “I wish there had been a book like this when I was single!” At least, it was my first thought– I know I’m not the only one.
Some months back I reviewed what seems like a very similar book, the excellent How to Get to “I Do”: A Dating Guide for Catholic Women by the talented Amy Bonaccorso.  However, I think both books are equally worth reading and having, rather than being either/or.  Each of these strong young women has a unique perspective and message, and readers everywhere benefit.

Interesting trivia:  both Bonaccorso and Stimpson will be among the dozen featured bloggers at the Behold Catholic Women’s Conference on March 10 at the Embassy Suites.  The Behold Conference might be the first time a Catholic women’s conference anywhere will feature “new media” and bloggers, but with that and much more, it promises to be a great event for women of all ages and vocations.

This Lent, Let Mercy Lead

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Here is my March column that appears in this weekend’s The Catholic Post.  I invite your feedback here or on Facebook or Twitter.
Do you like reading C.S. Lewis?  Many people, especially converts, do.
I recall first discovering Lewis when I was a young adult and for the first time truly embracing my cradle Catholic faith.   I soaked up his intellectual wisdom,  his sensible, easy-to-read theology and I grew in knowledge of and desire for my faith.  Lewis (like GK Chesterton, whom I find a little harder going) is eminently quotable, with lines that stick with you.
If I could use the analogy for food (and, as longtime readers know, I’m fond of using such analogies), reading C.S. Lewis is a like eating a delicious, multi-course feast, full of a range of dishes that both nourishes and tastes great, and you remember for a long time.
I was trying to find a way to characterize Mark Shea’s writing style as I read his newest book The Work of Mercy:  Being the Hands and Heart of Christ.  What kept occurring to me “he writes like a modern C.S. Lewis.”   Those are some big shoes to fill, but I propose that it’s an appropriate comparison.
I occasionally read Mark Shea’s blog, “Catholic and Enjoying It” http://www.patheos.com/blogs/markshea/author/markshea(and I always smile at the blog’s subhead, “So that no thought of mine, no matter how stupid, should ever go unpublished again!”)
But even though he’s the author of many books, I’ve never read one until The Work of Mercy.Turns out, all these years, I’ve been missing out.
 Mark Shea, like C.S. Lewis, lays out a feast for readers, combining many elements of culture, faith and life in an honest, approachable style.   The Work of Mercy is easy to read, but not “lightweight”; rather, it’s challenging and uplifting in the best way.
The Work of Mercy, with a chapter dedicated to each of the corporal and then spiritual works of mercy, is full of challenges for the individuals, groups and the Church, as well as the world.  It’s such a cliché to say, “I laughed, I cried, I was moved,” but I truly did all these things reading The Work of Mercy.  I had insights and growth in my understanding of works of mercy throughout.  I felt more of a desire to do specific actions to practice specific works of mercy, instead of just reading along and nodding my head (though I did plenty of that, too).
There’s so much varied and good in the book, it’s hard to get too specific, but two elements emerge:
*Shea’s honest humor:  “For me to assume the task of writing about “bearing wrongs patiently” is like asking the Incredible Hulk for anger-management counseling.”
*Shea’s message throughout that the works of mercy not so much change the world as change we who practice them.   In “Visit the Sick,” for instance, Shea writes that, “visiting the sick brings the human dignity of the sufferer into view.”
The Afterword, “What Next?” is especially good—for each of the spiritual or corporal works of mercy, Shea offers varied ideas, as well as web and other addresses for a charity or Christian outreach for action. For instance, for the work of mercy “forgive offenses willingly,” Shea recommends the sacrament of reconciliation, as well as Rachel’s Vineyard and Immaculee’s Rwandan Left to Tell Foundation.
If you’re fasting this Lent from certain foods, consider Mark Shea’s The Work of Mercy a multi-course feast for your spiritual life.

First, What Are You Reading? Volume 19, March 2012

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Here are my answers to the four questions I ask on the first of each month:

first, what are you reading?

what do you like best about it?

what do you like least?

what’s next on your list to read? 

As always, I hope you’ll consider your current reads on your blog and/or sharing here in the comments or on Facebook.  Happy reading!

First, what are you reading?  

Ready for Anything: Productivity Principles for Work & Life by management consultant David Allen.

Love Multiplies by Michelle and Jim-Bob Duggar.

What do you like best about them?

I first read David Allen’s Getting Things Done a few years back, but found his ideas (more than a system, really) a little too daunting. The idea of “getting things out of your head,” and clearing your in-box to zero, just seemed impossible.  The only thing I remember taking away from it was if you can do something in 2 minutes, you should just do it then, because otherwise it will take up space in your brain that slows you down.  This really does make a difference with household things, like setting the timer for a few minutes and trying to clear off a surface, empty the dishwasher, etc.   It’s remarkable how much progress you can make.  A recent “Meet a Reader” Dr. Andy Bland, mentioned David Allen as a favorite author (and Andy mentioned he regularly has an empty in-box), I thought I’d give this productivity guru another try.

I’m reading Ready for Anything in the hopes of gleaning good information about general productivity skills for family and work.  With managing our household, my work for the Catholic Post, and now my wildly busy but amazingly fun volunteering work for the Behold Conference, I find myself missing critical e-mails and not staying on top of things they way I should.   At the moment, I’m just soaking up the wisdom in the short essays and questions in Ready for Anything, and hoping some of that will stick and help me manage everything better.  I have to confess this book, to me, is like Flylady for professionals, and I do love Flylady.

Why do I feel a wee bit embarrassed to admit reading Love Multiplies by Duggar family?  (For those who don’t know, they are famous for their TLC reality series, 19 Kids and Counting.) For some reason, we have been Duggar-focused in the last few weeks.  I had DVRd some of the shows on TLC, and watch with the kids when we just need some downtime.  Trust me, it’s a very engaging, wholesome show.  My husband watched a few with us, and has taken to joking sometimes, “Are we watching the Kardashians today?”   This is what we like to call at our house, “theologian humor,” but we all laugh.  Can I ask again, why are the Kardashians famous?  It’s completely baffling.

When we watch the show, we point out where the Duggars’ beliefs might not be exactly Catholic, but a lot of their ideas are very practical and they display a very honest, earnest desire to be the best they can, and thereby serve and glorify God.

So both of their books came from the library, and I have to say that after reading more from them, it’s clear they are pretty sensible people with good hearts.  I found myself thinking, like I did about Steve Jobs last fall:  “not far from the kingdom of God.” 

The Duggars’ faith and their parenting is based on love, not fear. They truly try to help their children develop healthy relationships with one another and the world.  The parents work hard on their own marriage and on managing distress and anger.   They have some helpful ideas about living below your means. They try to live out the Gospel as they see it, and raise their children to be servants.

I was definitely skeptical before reading their books, and even dismissed them as a “full quiver” type of Christian, but in fact they specifically say they don’t believe in that, and really just are committed to remaining open to life, and grateful for God’s gift of children.

Some might laugh at this, but I found myself thinking of the Duggars again last weekend, when our family attended liturgy at Annunciation Byzantine Catholic Church–we try to go every few months, because it’s an awesome liturgy and a beautiful, icon-filled church.  During the liturgy, this thought popped up: “Imagine if the Duggars were Byzantine Catholic.”  I know it seems far-fetched, even incongruous, but how beautiful, for the Duggars, who really do have such a heart for following Christ, could see it brought to its fullness to experience the transcendent and beautiful liturgy.  All the chanting, incense, and reverence.  And the Duggars, with their diligence, honesty and desire for good, would be amazing apologists for the faith.   Hey, stranger things have happened.

What do you like least about them?

What’s most annoying about Ready for Anything is not being able to implement things because I’m just too darn busy.

As far as the Duggars, I’m old enough now to take away the good things from the Duggars without going overboard.  Instead of thinking I need mirror them (I need to shop exclusively at thrift stores! wear only skirts! make tater tot casserole!

My family doesn’t look like their family.  Earlier in my marriage and my family life, I might have thought, “I need to take all these ideas, our days need to look like theirs, my kids need to dress matching, etc.”  Instead, I take away the good and leave behind the not necessary, but truly, there is a lot of good among the Duggars.

Most apealling about both of these books is the attraction of virtue.  It’ natural to be attracted to what is good there.  But we don’t have to emulate every bit of it.  Look at the variety of saints—all so different in the way they exhibited holiness.  Think of the difference between a St. Catherine of Siena and a St. Gianna Molla, or the difference between St. Francis of Assisi or St. Francis de Sales.

To paraphrase Tolstoy (actually, he said the opposite), all happy families are happy in their own way.  There are many ways to be a happy, productive person and a happy, healthy family.

What’s next on your list to read?

Normally I set aside Lenten reading well ahead of time, but I have not done so this year.  The only spiritual reading I’m doing  (other than the tons of books I peruse for the Post) is my usual reading of the Divine Liturgy (that I read on my most used app, hands down, the Universalis App, and as usual this time of year they are really good).  I need to remedy that, so let me leave you with a quote from The Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales.  This is a book I try to read each Lent. 

Your language should be restrained, frank, sincere, candid, unaffected, and honest.  Be on guard against equivocation, ambiguity, or dissimulation.  While it is not always advisable to say all that is true, it is never permissible to speak against the truth.  Therefore, you must become accustomed to never to tell a deliberate lie whether to excuse yourself or for some other purposes, remembering always that God is the “God of truth.”
So, what are you reading these days?  Any books you would like to share?