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Q&A With Kate Wicker, author of "Weightless"

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Following is my e-conversation with Kate Wicker, author of  Weightless: Making Peace with Your Body, which I reviewed in my January column.. The great local news is that Kate will be keynote speaker at the Behold Conference this March.  If you live anywhere remotely near the diocese of Peoria, Illinois, and have not yet registered for this great conference, please consider doing so.  In the meantime, enjoy our conversation.


Q: Tell Catholic Post Book Group blog readers a little about yourself, your family and your writing.

First off, thanks so much for sharing your space with me. To give your readers a quick rundown: I’m a cradle Catholic, a wife to an amazing man, a mom to four little ones, and a writer and speaker when my-harried-but-happy-life-allows.

I have a degree in journalism and before becoming an at-home mom, I worked on the editorial staff of a regional parenting publication. I also freelance wrote for a variety of national publications and did a lot of medical and health writing early on.

These days I’m blessed to have the opportunity to write about two of my greatest passions in life: motherhood and my Catholic faith. I’m a senior writer for Faith & Family LIVE! and health columnist for Catholic Digest, and I also occasionally contribute to other publications. I ramble on about body image, my Catholic faith, mothering, sleep (or lack thereof), and other topics over at my blog, KateWicker.com.

I’m super excited to be attending the Behold Conference in March as a keynote speaker, and I hope I’ll get to meet some of your readers.

Q. One of the things I loved best about Weightless was your desire to help your own daughters grow up with a healthy self-image.  How does faith play a role in that?  And how do you see that changing as your girls get older, or now that you have a son?

I could write an entire book just about raising healthy daughters. Our children live in a world where they are constantly being exposed to unrealistic media images and unhealthy messages about sexuality, what it takes to be beautiful and desirable, and being a woman. We live in a society where girls are constantly at risk of sacrificing their true selves – whether they try to find love in the arms of a boy who doesn’t really care about them, wear immodest clothing to get attention, or turn themselves into a shiny, pretty package using extreme dieting or obsessive exercising. We have to work hard to counter the confusing messages out there, and the strongest tool in our arsenal is the wisdom of the Church. We have to teach our daughters where their true dignity lies: in the simple truth that they are created in God’s image and likeness and are carrying His mark. 

When I wrote Weightless, I only had daughters, but we were pleasantly surprised to welcome a baby boy into our family this past August. I’m already thinking of ways to help him see that his God-given role as protector means that he must fight for the dignity of women and protect their divine beauty and worth. Partly because of the contraceptive culture we live in, it’s very difficult for today’s young men to not be enticed by the scantily-clad images in media or to not start objectifying women instead of seeing them as vessels of God’s beauty. 

Our children – both boys and girls – face a lot of pressure today, but with our guidance, prayers, and the grace of God we can help fight back against a culture that undermines their worth, muddles their true life purpose, and help them hold onto their true selves. 

Q.  You share a lot of your personal story in Weightless about your struggle as a teen and young woman with an eating disorder.  Was it hard to write about that with the compassion that you did, or is it enough in the past to allow you perspective?

I don’t think it’s ever easy to expose our brokenness (especially if you’re a perfectionist like I am). In many ways I didn’t (and still don’t) feel qualified to write a book about making peace with your body, especially when I still occasionally struggle with my body image or when I sometimes have difficulty applying the virtue of temperance to my eating habits.

During the writing process for Weightless, I was forced to face some of the relics of my eating disordered past, but I also was gifted with the opportunity to share glimpses of hope and redemption.

Likewise, dredging up the abuse I inflicted upon my body when I was suffering from a clinical eating disorder certainly wasn’t fun, but it was worth it because I also saw how God had never left my side even at my darkest moments. In fact, it wasn’t until I turned to God and the principles of my Christian faith that the real healing began. 

I do believe that all of us have our own unique spiritual attacks we have to constantly be on guard against. For me, food and body image seem to be some of them, so I’ll probably always find it somewhat uncomfortable and challenging to discuss some of these topics related to how we see ourselves and our bodies and how we approach food. Yet, God often invites us to step outside of our comfort zone in order to find peace in Him and to be better able to minister to others.

Q:  Your book has been out for several months.  Can you share some of the feedback you’ve gotten from readers? 

 

I’ve been blessed to have received many encouraging emails and messages from women in different stages of life. One woman wrote that even though she was called to the single life and spiritual motherhood rather than physical motherhood, she was able to glean something from my book’s chapter that focuses on how being a mother changes how we see ourselves and our bodies. 

I also had a 70-year-old women confess to me that she had struggled with bulimia for more than 30 years and had never really understood the depths of her hurt until she read my book. 

One mom wrote that her young daughter was already thinking she was fat because her clothes from last season no longer fit her. The mom was worried and asked for my advice. It broke my heart that a child was already so body-conscious, and I encouraged the mom to remind her child that she should see her tighter clothing as something positive – a sign that she is healthy and growing. In our thin-obsessed culture, it’s easy to see why even young children start to equate growth with gaining weight, which feels like something they should avoid. This can be especially true for girls going through puberty – a time when their bodies naturally change and often fill out. It’s important to talk about how a girl’s body will develop and how growing up means that some physical changes will begin to take root. 

At the same time, even if your young daughter has started to blossom physically, protect her innocence. Just because a child looks more like a grown-up doesn’t mean she is one. Finally, I’ve told other moms to remind their children that healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Despite what Hollywood might have us believe, there is no “ideal” body shape. God loves variety. One look at the diversity in nature, it’s obvious that He did not intend to create a cookie-cutter world. We need to appreciate His artistry and accept our shape and encourage our children and others to do the same.

Q. What do most hope readers will take away from Weightless?

My biggest hope is that women will walk away from reading this book believing they can live a “weightless” life unencumbered by thoughts that they are not thin enough, young enough, pretty enough, or simply good enough. I know what it’s like to be a slave to the scale, to believe you’ll never be able to free yourself from thoughts of food or from pursuing thinness. But I’m here to tell you that there is hope.  You are stronger than a craving. The number on the scale is not an indictment of your character. You’re not a bad person because you ate a few too many chips. You don’t have to feel shameful because you binged or purged or did both. God is knocking on your heart. Let Him in. Food or a relentless quest for youth and beauty won’t offer you real, lasting happiness or peace. But believing in an all-loving, all-powerful God who makes all things possible just might.



Q. Are you planning to write any more books? 

I’ve been approached about a second book, and I feel incredibly humbled to have this opportunity; however, I’ve decided to focus on my most important “works in progress” – my children – at least for the few more months before starting any new writing projects. I’ll definitely keep you posted though when I get around to writing another book!

Time to Go on a (Media) Diet?

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Here is my January column that appears in this weekend’s Catholic Post.  I invite your feedback here or on Facebook or Twitter.
So, you’re already re-considering your New Year’s Resolution by this time.  Maybe those resolutions to get your kitchen or finances organized, or to exercise every day, have been abandoned already.
Can I suggest watching your diet?
No, I don’t mean what you eat, but the media you consume—your “media diet.”  I once wrote a column for The Catholic Post called, “You Are What You Read” about making good media choices because it’s a lot like eating well.  The more you fill up on the good stuff, the less bad stuff you have time for, or even have a taste for.   And by “good stuff” in books, I don’t mean brussel sprouts, but dark chocolate that’s delicious and healthy.
Here are a few good choices for people looking to fill up on some great and nourishing reads.  As a bonus, all have topics that might help you keep some of those resolutions.
Hoping to do more as a family?  Two books provide help:
Strengthening Your Family: A Catholic Approach to Holiness by Marge Fenelon.  I’ve never met Marge Fenelon, but we are kindred spirits.  Reading each chapter of this excellent book, I felt like I was having lunch with a friend and getting encouraging counsel and spiritual uplift about family life and its inevitable ups and downs.  Fenelon is not writing from the perspective of a holier-than-thou, but rather a fellow traveler who’s been there, made the mistakes, and yet still calls us (and herself) to a Catholic vision of doing family life well.  She shows us having a strong, holy family is hard, but also fun and rewarding, work.
Media mindfulness—viewing media in light of our Catholic faith– is a perennial interest of mine, and a frequent topic at our house.  And no one does “media mindfulness and literacy better than the Daughters of St. Paul.    Our fridge displays a Daughter of St. Paul magnet: “Control is for the moment—communication lasts a lifetime.” 
In this spirit, Daughter of St. Paul Hosea Rupprecht wrote How to Watch Movies with Kids:  A Values-Based Strategy to give tons of great ideas for parents, teachers and others who care about media literacy and mindfulness.  I so appreciated how each chapter ends; with “Saints to Guide Us” (for instance, St. Edith Stein on a chapter called, “Values Articulation,”) and with questions for family conversations. 
Thinking about living a healthier lifestyle?  Make sure you have balance in this area.
Weightless: Making Peace With Your Body, Kate Wicker’s heartfelt, personal book about body image and the spiritual life, is a resource especially well-suited to younger women.
Wicker leads readers through her own journey of an eating disorder and treatment, and now as a wife and mother yearning to hand on healthy body image to her young daughters.  She explores the role of having balance in all things related to our bodies, taking advantage of medical and psychological help when needed, but most of all keeping God at the center.  I love that that Wicker recommends (as do many resources) a “media fast” from unhealthy sources, and doing the same with her kids.  Throughout, Wicker tells readers, “If you love God, then love your body.”  Amen.
*Extreme Makeover: Women Transformed by Christ, Not Conformed by the Culture by Teresa Tomeo. Tomeo, a Catholic radio host, writes persuasively about how damaging a constant and solely secular media diet can be.
Best by far is the chapter titled,” Extreme Media Makeover: Your Personal Media Reality Check and Spiritual Beauty Plan,” in which she encourages an inventory of one’s media consumption, and more of the sacramental life.  Tomeo is great at reminding us that silence (or fasting) is a critical aspect of a healthy media life:  “We have to silence the noise in our lives if we want to hear from God an live a more peaceful and less stressful life.”
Have you resolved to make work-life balance a priority this year?  Consider The Catholic Briefcase: Tools for Integrating Faith and Work by Randy Hain.
At first glance, The Catholic Briefcase seems like book written only for business executives, but it reaches to such a wide range of people I’d recommend it for just about adult who works, inside or outside the home—pretty much everyone.   Hain is not only a business leader, but a recent convert, and he helps remind us cradle Catholics the richness of our faith, and the tools we all have available to keep us effective and holy in our vocation.
Each chapter offers interviews, encouragement and ideas not just for making realistic faith part of work life, but infusing an attractive Catholic culture into everything we do.   Especially helpful is advice on Catholic business networking, and making the spiritual life a priority.

Two E-Books for Two Great Feasts

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Happy Feast of St. John Neumann!  When I saw yesterday that St. Elizabeth Ann Seton was the feast day, and today was St. John,  I immediately thought of two terrific short chapter books about these saints.

First is Thomas Finds a Treasure: A St. John Neumann Story by Joan Stromberg, part of the Glory of America series.  These books are similiar in style and reading level of the American Girl books, but with a Catholic flair.  And they are not girl-specific, so both boys and girls will enjoy it.  Readers will learn all about St. John Neumann and his time through the eyes and story of a fictional 10-year-old boy, Thomas, and his family.

Another great book in the series is Kat Finds a Friend: A St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Story, also by Joan Stromberg.  When our family traveled to Gettysburg and Emmitsburg early last summer, I realized I had forgotten to bring along our copy of Kat Finds a Friend.  How excited I was to see the Kindle edition, and download it immediately so we could read it and enjoy it as we saw the actual places described in the book.

These Kindle books are a bargain at $5.50 each.  If you are not a Kindle reader, both “real” books, and others in the series, are easily available at Catholic bookstores.

Yesterday, when I was in the school library for my day to volunteer and share great books, I had the chance to share with the kids.  I thought quite a few of the kids, or someone in their family, might have received a Kindle or other device to read e-books, and I was right–it was more than half.  I had the opportunity yesterday to “book talk” both of these books, and their e-editions, by showing the kids the books on my Kindle App.

Do you know other e-books about saints?  What are some good choices?

Advent Book Giveaway Bonanza–Just in Time for Christmas Gift-Giving

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Yes, it’s Black Friday, and no, I’m not shopping today, not being a big fan of shopping in general, and especially when stores are crowded.

But I do love books, as everyone knows by now.  And so I’m kicking off the Christmas shopping season by an Advent Book Giveaway.  Most of the I have been given specifically for giveaways, and books that came as doubles from publishers, so I’ve decided to give away the extra copy.

I’ll have the giveaways for just the next two weeks, every couple of days, so that winners have the chance to get the books before Christmas gift-giving (even to yourself, if you are a winner).  I’ll have two more books to give away in January, as well.

First up is my November’s reviewed book,  A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms by Lisa Hendey.  I realize I had not yet shared the wonderful book trailer for Lisa’s great new book, so here it is:

Here are the rules for this giveaway and all the books in the giveaway.  You must comment on the blog post or posts giving away the book.  So, if you are interested in The Book of Saints for Catholic Moms, leave a comment here on this post.

In addition, if you are the winner, I will let you know via comment if I do not have an e-mail or a way to reach you.  If you do not respond in a few days, I’ll pull another name.  That’s it!  Couldn’t be easier.

Deadline for this first giveaway is Monday, November 28 at 7 p.m. Central Time.

What are you doing this Black Friday? Our family has a tradition of either a hike or going to the nation’s longest-running holiday parade, where this year we will be meeting another family, then getting some lunch together, nowhere near a mall, I hope.  Sometimes we see a movie, and Hugo looks good this year, as most of the family has read The Invention of Hugo Cabret.

Q&A with Lisa Hendey, author of A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms

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I was so excited to be invited to participate in the blog tour for Lisa Hendey’s new book, A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms (and can I say how cute is the cartoon Lisa for the blog tour icon?).  Longtime readers of The Catholic Post Book Group will remember that the second book I reviewed for the Catholic Post was Lisa’s first book, The Handbook for Catholic Moms.  Lisa was also my first author interview, and author interviews have become among my favorite aspects of writing about books.

I will be reviewing A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms for my November column, but in the meantime here is a great short Q&A with Lisa Hendey, a friend to moms everywhere.

A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms is such a great companion and natural “sort-of sequel” to The Handbook for Catholic Moms.  Did you know you wanted to write it when The Handbook for Catholic Moms released?
Thank you for your kindness and welcome Nancy. Honestly, I must give a great deal of the credit for the concept of A Book of Saints for Catholic Momsto my amazing editor at Ave Maria Press, Eileen Ponder.  Only a few weeks after The Handbook for Catholic Moms was released in February 2010, Eileen proposed several ideas for future projects, including the concept of a book devoted to exploring the lives of the saints. Because the Handbook was so fresh on my mind, and because I so enjoyed exploring the themes of that project so much, A Book of Saints for Catholic Momsbecame a natural extension of the work that had begun with my first book.

I appreciate how handsomely the book is designed and “feels.”  I especially loved the illustrations/icons for “heart, mind, body and soul,” (such a great theme in The Handbook for Catholic Moms) and how you assign a different one to each saint.  Tell me more about how you connected those two themes.
I, too, love the design for the book and want to give a great deal of credit to designer Katherine Robinson Coleman of Ave Maria Press, who gave such a beautiful “face” to the ideas I wanted to convey in this book.  The “heart, mind, body and soul” themes were explored in my first book The Handbook for Catholic Moms.  In that book, I encouraged moms to care for themselves in these aspects of their lives so that they would be better equipped to serve their families, our Church and the world around us.

I’ve long had a devotion to the lives of the saints, turning to them as spiritual companions, role models and intercessors. Early in the planning for this project, I decided that I wanted to revisit the four themes, choosing saints in each of those areas and writing about their lives, but also about how the saints exemplified sanctity and excellence in these areas.

There are 52 great saints, some well-known, others not so much.  How did you select the range of saints?
Choosing the 52 saints was one of the most fun, but also the most challenging aspects of the project. I knew immediately that some saints would be included because their importance to mothers and their “fit” for the topics being explored made them immediately come to mind. But I also had a wonderful time pondering my “picks” and reveling in research at our local university library. The formula of 52 saints and four “themes” (heart, mind, body and soul) meant coming up with 13 saints in each of those categories. Honestly, many of the saints I selected could have been introduced in several ways, but conceiving of them in this way and watching the project grow and take flesh really brought them to life in this writer’s heart of mine.

Do you have a favorite saint among the less well-known saints?
I have several! I must admit a tremendously soft spot in my heart for Blessed Louis and Zelie Martin, the parents of St. Therese of Lisieux who is one of my personal patrons. It makes sense to me that they would have had a tremendous impact upon her and I’ve fallen in love with Blessed Zelie through reading her personal correspondence. I also have a strong devotion to St. Gianna Beretta Molla, a modern working mother, a physician and a valiant pro-life champion. Finally as an Indiana born daughter of two Hoosier parents educated by the Sisters of Providence, I absolutely love and frequently pray through the intercession of Saint Mother Theodore Guerin who has taught me a great deal about trusting in God’s providence in my life.

You’re such a busy writer and new media specialist.  What’s your next project?
Busy, but very blessed! I have several “next projects” in the work, including an Advent book for Catholic families, several new concepts for CatholicMom.com, an active speaking schedule for the Spring and some “secret projects” that will be unveiled soon.
Is there anything else you would like to add or wish I would have asked?
Nancy, I thank you for your amazing support and I truly encourage your readers to pick up A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms and to share it with their friends and loved ones. The book is designed to be of support for moms, but also to be used with the entire family. It includes daily scriptures and prayers, activities for a mother to enjoy with her children, and a family prayer to be recited together. The saints – these holy men and women – lived their lives in the same challenging circumstances we often face today. It’s such a treasure of our faith that we can turn to them for support and encouragement, in intercessory prayer. I hope families will find a renewed relationship with the communion of saints through this book – both the formally canonized saints, and those we have each known and loved in our own lives. I pray the book will be a blessing to moms in their vocation.

Not Far From the Kingdom of God: UPDATED

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best cartoon I've seen Remember Steve Jobs. #thankyouste... on Twitpic

Thomas Peters’ cartoon of Steve Jobs at the Pearly Gates, going viral on Twitter today, really sums up my feelings today about Steve Jobs–that he in reality is not far from the Kingdom of God.  ( For some reason the “TwitPic” link is not working well, or at least it doesn’t look like very good resolution as I write this in draft form–you can visit this link to see this simple but practically perfect cartoon in much better resolution.)

I am uber-geeky about the death of Steve Jobs, and basically warrant some of the criticism people are having of the outsize reactions to Jobs’ death.  Last night, I subscribed to the Twitter hashtag #apple so I could show our family all the tweets streaming in for Jobs.  I laughed loudly when a Facebook friend, fond of putting up photos of the wrong celebrity when one dies (Liam Neeson instead of Leslie Nielson, for example), put a photo of Bill Gates up with the caption, “Steve Jobs, you will be missed.”

And this morning, I actually, truly, tweeted and put on Facebook, “At Mass this am, saw 2 others wearing jeans & black, but I was too shy to ask if they were, like me, geeky & doing it for Steve Jobs.”

From what I can discover, Steve Jobs professed no faith, but he is one of several famous people I consider “not far from the Kingdom of God” because of their desire for truth, beauty, and goodness.  Another example is Clint Eastwood–he says he does not believe in God, but how can a person make the movies “Gran Torino” or “Invictus” without some kind of yearning and desire for the Good?

Steve Jobs or Clint Eastwood remind me of the Calormen soldier Emeth in C.S. Lewis’ The Last Battle, last book in the Chronicles of Narnia series.  For those who have not read it, Emeth arrives in Aslan’s country to Aslan’s welcome, but Emeth protests that he has always followed and sought Tash, the demonic “god” of the Calormens.  How could Aslan accept him as a son?  Aslan replies, “Beloved, .. unless thy desire had been for me thou wouldst not have sought so long and so truly.  For all find what they truly seek.”

There are tons of Web reflections and tributes to Steve Jobs today. I especially enjoyed Jeff Geerling’s tribute: “Steve“, in which Geerling reminds us of Jobs’ opposition to porn on the App store, and many of his other terrific qualities.   His love of beauty and a clean design for Apple products, even the parts customers would not generally see, shows there was something in him that sought and delighted in goodness. The Anchoress also had a great reflection and roundup of various reactions around the Web.  And Marc Cardaronella, a local friend we know in real life (I featured his wife Shannon as a “Meet a Reader” early this year), shares Steve Jobs “life lessons for Catholic leaders.”

A friend on Facebook responded to my “wearing jeans and black at Mass” status that today’s Gospel, from Luke 11, was great, and in re-reading it, I thought about Jobs and his relentless searching and knocking, and how the Lord promises that the door is always opened.  May it be so, and may Jobs’ soul, through the mercy of God, rest in peace:

‘So I say to you: Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For the one who asks always receives; the one who searches always finds; the one who knocks will always have the door opened to him. What father among you would hand his son a stone when he asked for bread? Or hand him a snake instead of a fish? Or hand him a scorpion if he asked for an egg? If you then, who are evil, know how to give your children what is good, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!’


UPDATE:  I don’t know how I missed several points in my original post.  One, that I (and our whole family) has multiple, multiple Apple products.  I am not going to even count them because I fear it would be embarrassing.  And I have never gotten rid of one.

For instance, when a nephew told me Apple offers a 10 percent discount at the Apple store if you bring in an old iPod or other device, I brought the first iPod (now nonworking even after my cardboard fixes) my husband got me years ago, to an Apple store in the plans of getting a discount, and I accidentally on purpose forgot to turn it in.

That reminds me that it is my husband who loves and points out to me all the new Apple products and how beautiful they are.  So I am in gratitude to him for getting us started on the Apple path, because  Apple products have saved me so much time and angst from my Windows days, I can’t even begin to add them up.

Finally, how did I neglect, when I was retweeting the fact profusely, about the fact that Steve Jobs was adopted, and what his unplanned conception might have meant in the post-Roe world?  MacBeth has a tear-inducing reflection about that here.  Dare you to read it without tearing up.