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This Lent, Let Mercy Lead

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Here is my March column that appears in this weekend’s The Catholic Post.  I invite your feedback here or on Facebook or Twitter.
Do you like reading C.S. Lewis?  Many people, especially converts, do.
I recall first discovering Lewis when I was a young adult and for the first time truly embracing my cradle Catholic faith.   I soaked up his intellectual wisdom,  his sensible, easy-to-read theology and I grew in knowledge of and desire for my faith.  Lewis (like GK Chesterton, whom I find a little harder going) is eminently quotable, with lines that stick with you.
If I could use the analogy for food (and, as longtime readers know, I’m fond of using such analogies), reading C.S. Lewis is a like eating a delicious, multi-course feast, full of a range of dishes that both nourishes and tastes great, and you remember for a long time.
I was trying to find a way to characterize Mark Shea’s writing style as I read his newest book The Work of Mercy:  Being the Hands and Heart of Christ.  What kept occurring to me “he writes like a modern C.S. Lewis.”   Those are some big shoes to fill, but I propose that it’s an appropriate comparison.
I occasionally read Mark Shea’s blog, “Catholic and Enjoying It” http://www.patheos.com/blogs/markshea/author/markshea(and I always smile at the blog’s subhead, “So that no thought of mine, no matter how stupid, should ever go unpublished again!”)
But even though he’s the author of many books, I’ve never read one until The Work of Mercy.Turns out, all these years, I’ve been missing out.
 Mark Shea, like C.S. Lewis, lays out a feast for readers, combining many elements of culture, faith and life in an honest, approachable style.   The Work of Mercy is easy to read, but not “lightweight”; rather, it’s challenging and uplifting in the best way.
The Work of Mercy, with a chapter dedicated to each of the corporal and then spiritual works of mercy, is full of challenges for the individuals, groups and the Church, as well as the world.  It’s such a cliché to say, “I laughed, I cried, I was moved,” but I truly did all these things reading The Work of Mercy.  I had insights and growth in my understanding of works of mercy throughout.  I felt more of a desire to do specific actions to practice specific works of mercy, instead of just reading along and nodding my head (though I did plenty of that, too).
There’s so much varied and good in the book, it’s hard to get too specific, but two elements emerge:
*Shea’s honest humor:  “For me to assume the task of writing about “bearing wrongs patiently” is like asking the Incredible Hulk for anger-management counseling.”
*Shea’s message throughout that the works of mercy not so much change the world as change we who practice them.   In “Visit the Sick,” for instance, Shea writes that, “visiting the sick brings the human dignity of the sufferer into view.”
The Afterword, “What Next?” is especially good—for each of the spiritual or corporal works of mercy, Shea offers varied ideas, as well as web and other addresses for a charity or Christian outreach for action. For instance, for the work of mercy “forgive offenses willingly,” Shea recommends the sacrament of reconciliation, as well as Rachel’s Vineyard and Immaculee’s Rwandan Left to Tell Foundation.
If you’re fasting this Lent from certain foods, consider Mark Shea’s The Work of Mercy a multi-course feast for your spiritual life.

First, What Are You Reading? Volume 19, March 2012

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Here are my answers to the four questions I ask on the first of each month:

first, what are you reading?

what do you like best about it?

what do you like least?

what’s next on your list to read? 

As always, I hope you’ll consider your current reads on your blog and/or sharing here in the comments or on Facebook.  Happy reading!

First, what are you reading?  

Ready for Anything: Productivity Principles for Work & Life by management consultant David Allen.

Love Multiplies by Michelle and Jim-Bob Duggar.

What do you like best about them?

I first read David Allen’s Getting Things Done a few years back, but found his ideas (more than a system, really) a little too daunting. The idea of “getting things out of your head,” and clearing your in-box to zero, just seemed impossible.  The only thing I remember taking away from it was if you can do something in 2 minutes, you should just do it then, because otherwise it will take up space in your brain that slows you down.  This really does make a difference with household things, like setting the timer for a few minutes and trying to clear off a surface, empty the dishwasher, etc.   It’s remarkable how much progress you can make.  A recent “Meet a Reader” Dr. Andy Bland, mentioned David Allen as a favorite author (and Andy mentioned he regularly has an empty in-box), I thought I’d give this productivity guru another try.

I’m reading Ready for Anything in the hopes of gleaning good information about general productivity skills for family and work.  With managing our household, my work for the Catholic Post, and now my wildly busy but amazingly fun volunteering work for the Behold Conference, I find myself missing critical e-mails and not staying on top of things they way I should.   At the moment, I’m just soaking up the wisdom in the short essays and questions in Ready for Anything, and hoping some of that will stick and help me manage everything better.  I have to confess this book, to me, is like Flylady for professionals, and I do love Flylady.

Why do I feel a wee bit embarrassed to admit reading Love Multiplies by Duggar family?  (For those who don’t know, they are famous for their TLC reality series, 19 Kids and Counting.) For some reason, we have been Duggar-focused in the last few weeks.  I had DVRd some of the shows on TLC, and watch with the kids when we just need some downtime.  Trust me, it’s a very engaging, wholesome show.  My husband watched a few with us, and has taken to joking sometimes, “Are we watching the Kardashians today?”   This is what we like to call at our house, “theologian humor,” but we all laugh.  Can I ask again, why are the Kardashians famous?  It’s completely baffling.

When we watch the show, we point out where the Duggars’ beliefs might not be exactly Catholic, but a lot of their ideas are very practical and they display a very honest, earnest desire to be the best they can, and thereby serve and glorify God.

So both of their books came from the library, and I have to say that after reading more from them, it’s clear they are pretty sensible people with good hearts.  I found myself thinking, like I did about Steve Jobs last fall:  “not far from the kingdom of God.” 

The Duggars’ faith and their parenting is based on love, not fear. They truly try to help their children develop healthy relationships with one another and the world.  The parents work hard on their own marriage and on managing distress and anger.   They have some helpful ideas about living below your means. They try to live out the Gospel as they see it, and raise their children to be servants.

I was definitely skeptical before reading their books, and even dismissed them as a “full quiver” type of Christian, but in fact they specifically say they don’t believe in that, and really just are committed to remaining open to life, and grateful for God’s gift of children.

Some might laugh at this, but I found myself thinking of the Duggars again last weekend, when our family attended liturgy at Annunciation Byzantine Catholic Church–we try to go every few months, because it’s an awesome liturgy and a beautiful, icon-filled church.  During the liturgy, this thought popped up: “Imagine if the Duggars were Byzantine Catholic.”  I know it seems far-fetched, even incongruous, but how beautiful, for the Duggars, who really do have such a heart for following Christ, could see it brought to its fullness to experience the transcendent and beautiful liturgy.  All the chanting, incense, and reverence.  And the Duggars, with their diligence, honesty and desire for good, would be amazing apologists for the faith.   Hey, stranger things have happened.

What do you like least about them?

What’s most annoying about Ready for Anything is not being able to implement things because I’m just too darn busy.

As far as the Duggars, I’m old enough now to take away the good things from the Duggars without going overboard.  Instead of thinking I need mirror them (I need to shop exclusively at thrift stores! wear only skirts! make tater tot casserole!

My family doesn’t look like their family.  Earlier in my marriage and my family life, I might have thought, “I need to take all these ideas, our days need to look like theirs, my kids need to dress matching, etc.”  Instead, I take away the good and leave behind the not necessary, but truly, there is a lot of good among the Duggars.

Most apealling about both of these books is the attraction of virtue.  It’ natural to be attracted to what is good there.  But we don’t have to emulate every bit of it.  Look at the variety of saints—all so different in the way they exhibited holiness.  Think of the difference between a St. Catherine of Siena and a St. Gianna Molla, or the difference between St. Francis of Assisi or St. Francis de Sales.

To paraphrase Tolstoy (actually, he said the opposite), all happy families are happy in their own way.  There are many ways to be a happy, productive person and a happy, healthy family.

What’s next on your list to read?

Normally I set aside Lenten reading well ahead of time, but I have not done so this year.  The only spiritual reading I’m doing  (other than the tons of books I peruse for the Post) is my usual reading of the Divine Liturgy (that I read on my most used app, hands down, the Universalis App, and as usual this time of year they are really good).  I need to remedy that, so let me leave you with a quote from The Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales.  This is a book I try to read each Lent. 

Your language should be restrained, frank, sincere, candid, unaffected, and honest.  Be on guard against equivocation, ambiguity, or dissimulation.  While it is not always advisable to say all that is true, it is never permissible to speak against the truth.  Therefore, you must become accustomed to never to tell a deliberate lie whether to excuse yourself or for some other purposes, remembering always that God is the “God of truth.”
So, what are you reading these days?  Any books you would like to share?

Catholic Blog Day: The Prayer of St. Ephrem

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Catholic Blog Day 

 I first read about Catholic Blog Day on Twitter several weeks back, and resolved to post today on the suggested theme of “Penance.”  How convenient (and not a bit coincidental!), since it is Ash Wednesday.

I thought about all the things I could share about penance and Lent, and in fact quite a few funny discussions going on around our house with tweens and teens about “what I’m going to give up for Lent.”

Instead I’d like to share The Prayer of St. Ephrem (his name is spelled lots of ways; I’m just picking one).  This is a prayer my husband suggested our family might pray together during Lent.  Our pastor printed this in our bulletin, and my husband explained how Byzantine Catholics pray this all the time during Lent, as in every hour of the day!

(Said husband also happened to start his Lent on an Eastern/Byzantine Catholic schedule, which means he started two days ago.  Meanwhile, I’m thoroughly Roman Catholic, and definitely had my Mardi Gras yesterday with an apple fritter and all the non-Lent things).

 You can read a little more about The Prayer of St. Ephrem here.  I don’t think we’ll necessarily be praying it every hour here, but I’m posting it in various rooms around the house, and I hope we will be able to consistently make it a part of our Lenten journey.



Prayer of Saint Ephrem


O Lord and Master of my life,
keep from me the spirit of uncaring and discouragement,
desire for power, and idle chatter.


Instead, give to me, your servant,
the spirit of wholeness and integrity of being,
humble-mindedness, the spirit of patience and love.


O Lord and King,
grant me the grace to be aware of my failings
and not to judge my brothers and sisters,
for You are blessed, now and ever and forever.   Amen. 

I’m not really sure what will be the fruit of the Prayer of St. Ephrem during Lent, but I consider it to be so much like our Catholic faith and prayers–just letting it all soak in.   You pray the Rosary about a zillion times, and occasionally you have an insight about one of the mysteries or even the “Hail Mary” that expands your soul and faith in completely unexpected ways.  There’s so much to explore in this simple prayer, and I hope and pray that this time of prayer, fasting and almsgiving will help us all grow spiritually.

If you care to share what your family is doing for Lent, you are more than welcome–comment away!  What are your thoughts, too, about Catholic Blog Day, and did you participate?
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Catholic Blog Day is the idea of Jonathan Sullivan, a Catholic evangelist and new media expert in a nearby diocese.  I think it’s such a great idea, and I’m glad to be a little part of this great experiment and idea. I hope there will be another “Catholic Blog Day” maybe in Easter Time this year, so we can all write about joy or reconciliation or mercy.

Q&A With Amy Welborn, author of Wish You Were Here: Travels Through Loss and Hope

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I am delighted to have the chance to share this Q&A with Wish You Were Here author Amy Welborn.  Thank you, Amy, for being willing to answer all my questions about your work and your life.  What a gift for readers here, and your book is to readers everywhere.



Q.  Tell Catholic Post readers a little more about you and your work.
A.  I’ve meandered around the Catholic world professionally in various capacities for a while.  I have a BA in history from the University of Tennessee and an MA in Church History from Vanderbilt.  I have taught religion in Catholic high schools and served as a parish Director of Religious Education.  I have been writing for the Catholic press and Catholic audiences for about twenty-five years now, beginning back in the 80’s when I lived in Florida and wrote a column for the Florida Catholic.  In the years since, I have written regular columns of faith and life for Catholic News Service and Our Sunday Visitor.  I’ve written books on apologetics, spirituality and such for various publishers, including Loyola Press and Our Sunday Visitor.  I do a lot of smaller editing and writing projects as well: writing study guides and pamphlets, editing and evaluating manuscripts for publishers and so on.  And of course, I write online on my various blogs.  When it comes to writing for the Catholic audience, I’m primarily interested in continuing what I started: teaching.  I really enjoy taking a complicated or dense subject and trying to make it understandable for a specific audience. I also enjoy, on a more basic level, experiencing interesting things and writing about them. 
Q.  Wish You Were Here was such a moving memoir of a tough year for you.  You wrote a little on your blog about the death of your husband, and your subsequent trip to Sicily and Barcelona.  When did you realize you should, or that you wanted to, write a book about that time in your life?
Oh, a few months after Mike died, I started hearing questions and hints from various readers about turning this into a book.  I resisted for a lot of reasons, until my friend David Scott – who was my editor at  the OSV newspaper for a bit and was a friend of Mike’s – said, “You’re writing about it anyway on your blog.  What difference does it make if you put the same words on paper, between covers?”  As I made the plans for Sicily, it seemed to take on a helpful framework and evolve into a book in my head, so at that point, I contacted Trace Murphy at what was then Doubleday Religion, and he was open to the idea.  It was a long slog from that point to this, mostly because the task was a lot more challenging than I had anticipated, and writing this way is different that tossing out blog posts. But I’m grateful to my editor, Gary Jansen, and pleased with the result. 
Q.  As I wrote in my review, “If you’ve been through the loss of someone dear, Wish You Were Here will just make sense….Your’re fine, and then you’re not.  You’re overwhelmed with sadness, and then you have hope.  You cling to your faith, but you have doubts and questions and what-ifs.”  Did you realize how much you were writing for so many other people when you wrote about your own experience of grief?
A.  I didn’t realize, but I hoped I was. That was the only reason to write it: to help other people.  I don’t mean that to be pretentious. It’s just true. I was helped by other people’s writing about their own experiences – everyone from the well-known like C.S. Lewis (A Grief Observed) and Kathleen Norris (Acedie) to simply bloggers sharing their own experiences of grief – that I hoped I could contribute a helpful voice to that never-ending conversation. 
Q.  I wrote down so many quotes from the book it slowed me down!  Your writing is so “quotable” and looks effortless.  Do you find writing easy, or is it a hard process for you? 
A. Thank you.  It’s both.  Journaling is effortless, but shaping it is far more difficult. But I actually enjoy the editing process quite a bit.  That is when the real writing actually happens. 
Q.  Very recently, you lost your father as well.  Do you mind if I ask if this grieving is different, or if it is hard to be discussing this book when going through another loss?  
A.  It’s a different experience, to be sure.  My father was older and quite ill – and had beaten a lot of odds to even get to the point that he was.  But the other thing – and this is quite important – is that Mike’s death really changed me and my own stance toward death.  I have really committed myself to living what I profess in the Creed every Sunday about life, death and resurrection. 
Q. It’s clear from the book that (despite inevitable travel-related ups & downs), that your teenager and younger ones, benefitted and even thrived with the trip.  Do you plan any more far-away excursions with your kids? 
A.  Oh, yes…but I like to keep my travel plans under wraps until I’m practically there!
Q.  Any books or writing projects in your near future you would like to share with Catholic Post readers?
A.  I am working on smaller projects and just really trying to see if fiction is something that I can actually do, or if my identity as “fiction writer” is something that only exists in my imagination. 

Q&A (and Book Giveaway!) With Randy Hain, author of "The Catholic Briefcase"

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Even thought I’m not an executive with a briefcase, I am Catholic, and so I truly enjoyed reading, and then reviewing, Randy Hain’s new book The Catholic Briefcase, in my January Catholic Post column.  I was able to have a Q&A with Randy, and the publisher has shared two copies of this great resource to give away.  You can enter to win a copy of this book by commenting on this post, and one other, giveaway-specific post.  Good luck to all entering the giveaway.  And thank you, Randy Hain, for so thoroughly answering all of my questions about your helpful new book!

Q.  Tell Catholic Post readers a little more about you and your work.

Nancy-it is a pleasure to speak with you!  My family and I converted to the Catholic Church in 2006.  Prior to completing my RCIA program in 2006, I went through a life-changing personal conversion in the fall of 2005 when I finally stopped trying to be in charge of my life and surrendered to Christ.  That conversion and surrender (which is an ongoing process) has been the catalyst for how I live my life today as a husband, father, business leader and writer.  I am passionate about helping our fellow Catholics lead fully integrated lives, centered in Christ.  This means being authentically Catholic in all aspects of our lives, especially at work and in the public square.  I have started and still lead a number of ministries that are devoted to this effort.  My writing and speaking reflect my candid observations as a Catholic in the business world, as a married man (17 years to Sandra) and the father of two sons (Alex and Ryan).  I felt led to write the book to help others with practical steps to fully integrate their Catholicism with the place where they will spend the majority of their waking adult lives-the workplace.
Q.  Many people might consider that with its title, The Catholic Briefcase is only for business people or other “leadership,” but I thought it had great suggestions to infuse a Catholic culture into everything we do and a range of professions.  Who was your intended audience for the book?

Great question!  Quite frankly, I wrote the book for everyone.  I have had a number of stay-at-home-moms, retirees and students share with me that they have found valuable lessons in the book.  It has also been surprising to me how many Protestants have read the book and enjoyed it!  I write from my perspective as a Catholic in the workplace, but the lessons and stories in the book really connect well with everyone, regardless of your career or vocation.  I also was very intentional about writing a book that meets you where you are.  Some of us are quiet prayer warriors and others courageously lead the fight for our faith in the public square.  There is something here for everyone.
Q.  You have a website, The Integrated Catholic Life as an online ministry with a similar, but broader, focus than the book.  How do you see the “online” life for Catholics as opportunity and also a challenge?

Deacon Mike Bickerstaff and I started the Integrated Catholic Life eMagazine (www.integratedcatholiclife.org) as a way to share the work of outstanding Catholic writers faithful to the Magisterium, with a broad audience.  The website has exploded in popularity because we think people are hungry to learn about our beautiful Catholic faith.  They want the Truth and they are seeking ways to apply it in their daily lives.  The great opportunity for Catholics is having access to such good content from almost anywhere.  The challenge is to be careful about becoming addicted to technology and our often compulsive need to be on the Internet.  We also need silence, peace and quiet in our lives.  I worry that too much “noise” is hurting the prayer lives of our fellow Catholics.
Q.  You recommend Catholic business networking as a great way to share our faith.  How would you help broaden that to people not strictly in a business setting (such as at-home moms)?

In our wired world with so much time being devoted to online connecting (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.) we must be mindful of the need to interact with our fellow human beings as much as possible.  I strongly encourage Catholics to spend time with others who will encourage, educate and challenge them in ways that lead to strengthening their faith.  Business people have ample opportunities over coffee or lunch to meet, but stay-at-home-moms and others can also seek out others through the parish network to gather together.  Our parish has a number of outlets such as the Catholic Mom’s group that does a book study at our parish once a month and Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) which is a twice a year in-parish retreat for men and women.  When all else fails, we can simply introduce ourselves to our fellow parishioners after Mass and build friendships that way.  The bottom line is we can’t lose the vital human element to connecting by exclusively interacting online.
Q. Any books or writing projects in your near future you would like to share with Catholic Post readers?

I am currently writing my second book for Liguori Publications titled “Along the Way: A Convert’s Journey in the Catholic Church” which is due to be released at the end of 2012.  The book shares my experiences and lessons learned as a Catholic since I joined the Church.  It will address almost every aspect of our Catholic faith, where I have stumbled and struggled and the powerful lessons I have learned.  I hope converts and lifelong Catholics will find it helpful.  I continue to write a blog every Thursday called “Surrender and Strength” for the Integrated Catholic Life.
Q.  Is there anything else you wish I would have asked, or would like to share?

I hope people enjoy the book and I encourage them to tell their friends about it.  I welcome feedback and can be reached at randyhain@integratedcatholiclife.org

Readers, to enter the giveaway of one of two copies of Randy Hain’s The Catholic Briefcase, just  leave a comment here.  I’ll do another giveaway-specific post, and you can enter there as well. 

January Giveaway #2: Weightless by Kate Wicker

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Congratulations to the Birgitta, winner of the giveaway of Strengthening Your Family.  

Next up is a giveaway of Kate Wicker’s Weightless: Making Peace with Your Body, another book I reviewed in my January column.   I had the chance to interview Kate and post the interview last week.  You can read that interview here, where you can read more about her book and writing.

The deadline for entering this giveaway is Monday, January 30, at 7 p.m. Central Time.

Here are the rules for this giveaway and all the books on giveaways here at the Catholic Post Book Group.  You must comment on the blog post or posts giving away the book.  So, if you are interested in a copy of Weightless, leave a comment here on this post.

In addition, if you are the winner, I will let you know via comment if I do not have an e-mail or a way to reach you.  If you do not respond in two days, I’ll pull another name. That’s it–couldn’t be easier.  Good luck to all entries!