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Handbook for Catholic Moms Question: Family Banker Advice?

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The Mind section of The Handbook for Catholic Moms has a chapter on financial stewardship, since many moms are the “family bankers” of their families.  I especially like Catholic financial guru Phil Lenehan’s sidebar advice for moms to be good financial stewards for their families.


I thought it would be neat to explore here some good financial advice you practice or received as advice that you like, even if you aren’t able to put it into practice.  What’s a good way to save or spend money wisely?

Your advice can be serious or light.  

The one I’d like to share is quite light and fun.  We have a Discover Card in our family, and part of the rewards of this is a “Cashback Bonus.”  You can the “Cashback”  for cash, a reduction in your credit card bill, or in the form of gift cards with a higher value, say a $45 card for $40 of your “Cashback” money.  Since we don’t carry a balance on our credit cards, we don’t use the bonus for the credit card bills themselves.  So as a treat, I use our Cashback Bonus to get gift cards for my favorite coffee shop so when I buy coffee “out” when I’m on the run all day or when we are traveling, and it is “free.”  I know that it actually isn’t free, but there’s something nice about having a gift card for something that is a treat.

What’s some good and/or fun financial advice from your family? 

Handbook for Catholic Moms Question: How Do You Show Your Kids Your Real Self?

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Lisa Hendey describes the importance of not just being “mom,” but also of , and she invites us to reflect on the ways that we can share that “real self” with our children so they know our loves.

I think one way I have shared my real self is my passion for reading.  I love the fact that I have taught each of my children to read, and then introduced them to a world of great books.

We were traveling on Mother’s Day this year, and one of my daughters told me that she still wants to give me a day–a transfered Mother’s Day of sorts– when I have no responsibilities except for reading whatever I want.  I can only come downstairs to go out on a run or for meals prepared by others.   I love that she knows my love of reading and wants to help me indulge in that.

What “real self” do you share with your children?

Handbook for Catholic Moms Question: What Does It Mean to be a "Soul Sister"?

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In the “Heart” section of The Handbook for Catholic Moms, there’s a chapter on friendship–developing and maintaining healthy, nurturing friendships.  Author Lisa Hendey calls these true friends “soul sisters.”

In my life, I feel blessed to have four biological sisters, as well as a few very good “soul sisters.” It’s true for both my sisters and my “soul sisters” that with busy family life, I can’t always be in contact with them as I would like.  Still, I hope all my “sisters” know that I cherish them deeply and pray for them every day.  For the most part, I’m inconsistent about remembering birthdays and other anniversaries, and I’ve often thought that I wish I had a more consistent way to be in touch with them.  When my parents were alive, my husband’s example of always calling his parents on the weekend (and usually other times throughout the week) helped me to make that a weekend habit, and I’m so grateful for that.    I think I need to consider something along those lines for my sisters who are close and my sisters who live far.
What does it mean to you to have or to be a “soul sister?”  How do you nourish authentic friendships?

The Handbook for Catholic Moms interviews and discussions

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I’ve discovered two places I love to visit that are also featuring The Handbook for Catholic Moms.

Pat Gohn, the “Among Women” podcaster with an unbelievably smooth voice, interviews Lisa in this podcast.  I have not heard it yet, but I look forward to it as I’m sure it is a great listening to hear those two women talk about the book.

And Catholic writer Kate Wicker of Momopoly also had a Q&A with Lisa and is also discussing The Handbook for Catholic Moms on her new book discussion feature.

Handbook for Catholic Moms Question: What Marriage "Rule" Do You Follow?

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In The Handbook for Catholic Moms, Lisa Hendey shares stories and ideas about keeping, from always praying for your spouse to trying to make “date night” possible for parents in different situations.

All the great advice reminded me of a discussion I had once with a group of other married women about “marriage rules.”  I’m thinking of things like advice from a parent or older married couple, “Never go to bed angry,” or “Always give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.”  Sometimes they can seem almost trite  although they are actually quite helpful when put into practice.  Kind of like a “mom-ism”.

I would have to say the number one unofficial “marriage rule” at our house is “keep a sense of humor.”  Gently laughing at ourselves and the chaos that can be family life can be very connecting!

What marriage rule do you follow, or have you been given, for which you have been grateful?

The Handbook for Catholic Moms Offers Kindness, Encouragement for Moms

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When I was a new mom, I received much wise counsel from my own mother during many a late-night conversation.  For example, my mom very gently told me (and I’m sure laughed silently at the other end of the phone), that my child would be potty trained before college, and not to focus too much emotional energy in that direction.
Even with my mom’s great advice, as I get older in my parenting journey, I often wish I could write a letter to myself and time travel it back to the younger-mom me. The letter would tell me things to worry about (and not), as well as things to do differently and things to not change at all.
The chief message of The Handbook for Catholic Moms stresses something I—and many older moms– would put in this “younger me” letter.  That message is: self-care,–emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually– is not an indulgence or a weakness, but one of the most important gifts you can give to yourself, and your family.
The Handbook for Catholic Moms is helpfully divided into four sections: heart, mind, body and soul, focusing on the different ways moms can take care of ourselves.  More than anything, though, what shines through the book is Hendey’s kindness and her passion for the Catholic faith.
Some of my favorite nuggets:
*Heart: In the chapter on marriage, Hendey suggests getting out the special wedding album/photos from time to time for kids to see.  This is great tradition to do around an anniversary date, something we do each year at our house.   It sparks great discussions and happy feelings about the event that started each family.
*Mind: Hendey challenges mom to try an activity that stretches you creatively, whether knitting, cooking or writing.   Making time for a creative endeavor can provide dividends in happiness and satisfaction.
*Body: Hendey candidly shares her own treatment for breast cancer, and challenges women to not neglect regular health screenings.
*Soul: I loved the simple but beautiful reflection penned by Hendey’s childhood pastor on praying the Rosary and devotion to Mary. Also not to be missed are the list of saints favorites, for moms, from moms.
Sprinkled throughout the book are quotes from scripture, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, church documents, and quotes from the saints.  A great feature are the stories shared from a range of Catholic moms (and those who love them.  There’s everything from Mary Ellen Barrett’s account of facing her son’s autism to podcaster mom Pat Gohn’s three principles for lifelong learning, to Catholic financial guru Phil Lenehan’s call for moms to be good stewards for their families. Each chapter ends with Catholic Internet and other resources for helping moms navigate a particular area, as well as encouraging but not overwhelming, “Mom’s homework.”
I can’t begin to describe how glad I am that “The Handbook for Catholic Moms” is not a parenting book. Like most moms, I’ve read more than my share of parenting books, been in helpful book groups with other parents, had and witnessed heated discussions both online and in real life about “the best way to parent.”
While some of this can be transformative, every family is different and there are many “Catholic” ways to parent.   Fortunately, The Handbook for Catholic Moms steers clear of this by providing solid, both catholic (as in universal) and Catholic (as in centering on our faith) nurturing for moms.
The Handbook for Catholic Moms is a great read and gentle pick-me-up, especially for those women are newer at motherhood, but provides real encouragement and guidance for all us moms out there in the trenches.
You go, moms!