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“Gay and Catholic” A Must-Read {My November column @ The Catholic Post}

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Following is my column that appears in this weekend’s print edition of The Catholic Post.

I’m embarrassed to confess this, but I’m just going to be honest.

I was hesitant, even worried, to review Gay and Catholic: Accepting My Sexuality, Finding Community, Living My Faith by Eve Tushnet. That’s even though I immediately considered it a must-read.

I was worried about writing a review that would do justice to this excellent work.

I was worried that my devoted Catholic friends would raise an eyebrow at the title or subject matter.

I was worried that those dear to me who are gay and not Catholic will think I’m judgmental or I reject them in any way. That one worried me a lot.

But after re-reading this book and highlighting quotes on just about every other page, let me assure you that Gay and Catholic is one of the most important books this year, and should be read by just about everyone.

Gay and Catholic is more than memoir, more than explanation and exploration of Catholic Church teaching on sexual and spiritual matters. It’s three books in one, each substantial and essential.

The first part is Tushnet’s own story of growing up openly lesbian and Jewish, converting to Catholicism as a sophomore at Yale, and then living her faith as a gay Christian. It’s honest and well-written—a wise Catholic memoir.

The second part is an exploration of the vocation all are called to as followers of Christ. Tushnet considers the primary target audience of the book as gay Christians, but I think this section (indeed, the entire book) is applicable to anyone who wants to live an authentic life.

Ponder these two quotes:

“Every vocation will challenge you and stress out out, and leave you feeling like you’re in over your head. It will reshape you in the way the ocean reshapes a curving, twisted rock formation—by wearing you down. But every vocation can also be an “adventure,” a gift. The pains and the joys can’t be separated, although there will be seasons in which one or the other predominates. And you can’t do any of this alone, by sheer willpower.”

“Surrender control in favor of love; It’s probably obvious how this might improve your spiritual life.”

How are those not true for marriage and motherhood, religious life or priesthood, as much as it is for someone living single? The entire book is full of quotes like this, that will have you nodding your head or reaching for a pencil to write it down or share it with someone.

The third part is immensely helpful and supportive appendices. The first appendix of further resources for homosexual Christians and those who want to be supportive of them; the second appendix of questions & very insightful and open answers for gay people and their loved ones; and a third appendix of how the church can be more welcoming to same-sex attracted Christians. All not to be missed.

There’s a moment of hesitation to call Gay and Catholic a spiritual classic. Isn’t there some sort of time period—a hundred years or so—before that designation can be applied?

But so many of the insights in Gay and Catholic are like a 21st century version of spiritual classics like The Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales, or The Story of a Soul by St. Therese, that the label fits.

If you’re not convinced, one more quote:

“Try to picture yourself, right now, through God’s eyes. Try to see yourself with the eyes of love. Then remove everything from that image that discourages you: the disappointment you may be imagining, or the “yes, I love you, but” sorrow, or the stern “tough love” glare. When all of that is gone, what is left is clear and steady, a look that gazes directly into your eyes rather than looking down on you. That is the God who knows you, understands you, and loves you even—especially—when you are least capable of loving yourself. That is the Christian God.”

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Also of interest:

*Several months ago, a lot of people were sharing a link to “The Third Way,” a documentary about a Catholic approach to homosexuality. It’s really well done.  When I went to search for the link to it, I was saddened to find a lot of the search results were for anti-Catholic and very intolerant reviews of this sensible and moving film.  Readers should avoid those, because the film itself is extremely well-done and sensitive.

You can watch the video on Vimeo here. Here is also a link to a Q&A by Brandon Vogt with Fr. John Hollowell, the film’s producer.

*I also read Sexual Authenticity: More Reflections by writer adnd blogger Melinda Selmys.  It’s really well-done and thought-provoking, a kind of sequel (or evolution in her thinking) to  her first book, Sexual Authenticity: An Intimate Reflection on Homosexuality and Catholicism.  I wasn’t reviewing books back in 2009 when the first Sexual Authenticity came out.  Her writing style is very intense and layered–I definitely didn’t agree with everything in her book, but it’s so worthy of reading and discussion.

*I was not familiar with this website until recently: Spiritual Friendship. Lots of good information and reflection there, including a review of the conference, “Gay in Christ,”  at the University of Notre Dame several weeks ago, that I first read about on Mark Shea’s blog.

Meet a Reader: Jessica Woiwode

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photo_kindlephoto-20631763How you know me:

I am a stay at home wife and mother. My husband Josh and I live in Pekin with our four-year-old son Brogan. We attend Saint Joseph’s in Pekin.

Why I love reading:

Reading has such an ability to put my mind at ease. From my early days of enjoying Beverly Lewis’ Amish fiction books, and the thoughts of such a simple life; to present day books on spirituality and contemplating the wonders of God’s Love for each of us, I’ve always loved reading.

What I am reading now:

I’m currently reading two books:

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Reading this book started as a reluctant journey wondering how reading a book that is a compilation of letters exchanged between fictional demons could possibly be uplifting or enlightening. I have found it to not only give me insight into how easily our fallen nature can justify our sin and temptations, but also how diligently God watches over us and needs us only to utter one loving prayer of trust and abandon unto His will, and He gathers us into His arms.

Uniformity with God’s Will by Saint Alphonsus de Liguori. This book is just a very short read on exactly the title. So many times we think we should only conform to The Lord’s will, but in actuality we must be immersed in uniformity to His Will.

”Conformity signifies that we join our wills to the will of God. Uniformity means more- it means that we make one will of God’s will and ours, so that we will only what God wills; that God’s will alone, is our will.” Love of God’s will is knowing that whatever happens to us is only preparing us to love Him more for eternity.

My favorite book:

The Gospel of John, because Jesus speaks the most in this Gospel. All of John Chapter 14 is my favorite.

Nancy here–I’m especially delighted to share Jessica as a”Meet a Reader” since I’ve known her since she was a young teenager, and she was babysitting for my toddlers.  Now she has a toddler of her own!

American and Catholic {My October column, The Catholic Post}

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Here is my column that appears in this week’s print edition of The Catholic Post.

St. Catherine of Siena famously said, “If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world ablaze!”

Less well-known is a quote by St. Edith Stein. She didn’t say it about American Catholics, but definitely fits: “The nation doesn’t simply need what we have. It needs what we are.”

Neither of those quotes are in The American Catholic Almanac: A Daily Reader of Patriots, Saints, Rogues, and Ordinary People Who Changed the United States.

But they explain the appeal of this treasury that explores how a varied cast of characters and events shaped the nation and its Catholic culture.

The American Catholic Almanac is ably written by two authors—Emily Stimpson, an author with local roots (her family has roots in the Quad Cities, and her cousin is Peoria Notre Dame Chaplain Fr. Adam Stimpson), and Brian Burch.

For each day of the year, one notable American Catholic person or event in American Catholic history, with some connection to that date, is featured. The book spans from the earliest explorers in the late 15th and early 16th century, through to the present day. And, true to its title, the book explores patriots, saints and rogues, though I would argue there are no ordinary people among the 365 notables, obscurity notwithstanding.

I loved this book, and look forward to exploring it even more. Virtually every entry is filled with quirky, awe-inspiring, or just plain interesting, Catholic history.

Admittedly, I’m a history nerd. But you don’t have to geek out on history to love The American Catholic Almanac. Here are several reasons why:

*You’ll be surprised again and again by people you didn’t realize were Catholic, and even more surprised by “how” they were Catholic, whether throughout their lives, or at the end of life. I knew Andy Warhol was Catholic, but Jack Kerouac?

*You’l be astonished by the little-known events that helped shaped and knit Catholics into the fabric of American life. Did you know there was a 19th century Irish Catholic Colonization Association started by Peoria’s Bishop Spalding and others, to help re-settle Irish immigrants from tenements onto farms in the Midwest?

*You’ll find yourself wanting to know more about our rich Catholic heritage—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

This book inspired me to think more about the heroes in our own midst right now, and who might be included in a future volume of The American Catholic Almanac.

I really hope there is a future volume, although hearing from author Stimpson of the tremendous work that went into this one, it may be awhile.

We may not be colorful firebrands like Mary Fields (October 17, “Stagecoach Mary”), a whiskey-drinking former slave who served Ursulines, or tireless priests like local son (Alleman High School was named after him) Father Alleman (May 10, “The Big Priest”), who personally chopped the wood for churches he founded in southeastern Iowa and western Illinois. But The American Catholic Almanac makes clear that anyone, from celebrities and intellectuals to humble folk, religious and lay, sinners and saints, can have a big impact on culture and history.

A Cure for “Historical Amnesia” {The American Catholic Almanac Blog Tour}

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With apologies to Jane Austen, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I love and admire Emily Stimpson.

I’ve reviewed her books before here and here , and she was a “Reader” back around the time of the 2012 Behold Conference, where I first met Emily in person (photos to prove it in the link). To use another literary reference, Emily is definitely a “kindred spirit,” and I’m happy to claim her as a local author since she has roots in the Peoria Diocese and many of her family still lives here.

Headshot Living Room

So that’s why I’m delighted for Reading Catholic to be a stop on the blog tour for The American Catholic Almanac by Emily Stimpson and Brian Burch.  My review of the book appears in this weekend’s print edition of The Catholic Post and will post here in a few days. 

Thank you, Emily, for doing this Q&A, and for this great new book.

NP: Tell me a little more about your book, your co-author, and the writing process. How did you decide to write the book?

ES: Credit for the idea behind the book goes to Brian Burch and the Catholic Vote team, particularly Josh Mercer and Kara Mone. In the wake of the HHS Mandate and recent court rulings on same-sex marriage, many Catholics were justifiably concerned about government-imposed limitations of their religious freedom. But many more Catholics didn’t seem concerned at all. There was a lot of shoulder shrugging.

On top of that, more and more Americans have been questioning the Church’s place in the public square, seeing the Church (and faith itself) as a threat to democracy. Brian believed part of that problem stemmed from a sort of historical amnesia.

As American Catholics, we’ve forgotten our story: why our ancestors came here, how they sacrificed to establish the Catholic Church in America, and how much they contributed to the growth of this country.

The hope was that by re-telling our family story—in a fun, interesting, and accessible way—we could help Catholics (and all people of good will) both appreciate what the Church has done and work more vigorously to protect it.

As for the writing process, that’s where I came in. Brian approached me to work with him because I’m a storyteller, and he thought my voice could help set the right tone for the book. As I said, we didn’t want to write dry history; we wanted to tell stories that did justice to the great men and women who nurtured the Faith in America. Anyhow, I felt incredibly blessed to be asked to participate and jumped in with both feet.

After that, the actual writing process began with our fantastic research assistant, Tom Crowe, who organized the calendar and supplied us with materials to read. Then, I wrote the first draft for each month. As each individual month was complete, it went to Brian for review and revision. From there, it went on to Random House, then back to Brian, and finally back to me, so that I could smooth out everyone’s changes and ensure that the book didn’t sound like a committee wrote it.

When I explain the process like that, it sounds so sane. But it wasn’t. Everything was happening at once—filling in dates on the calendar, writing new entries, revising old ones, reviewing proofs, even designing the book cover. It was a massive undertaking, but we’re so proud of the end result.

NP: There’s such a variety of Catholics profiled, from Catholics as varied as singer Perry Como to Alexis de Tocqueville, to Rose Hawthorne, to concepts like the Act of Toleration. How did you come up with so many great entries?

ES: Again, Tom Crowe deserves a lot of the credit. He started by identifying the biggies—America’s saints, blessed, and venerables—as well as other key people and events in American Catholic history. Then Brian and I chimed in with more ideas. After that, as we researched and read, we kept identifying more interesting things to cover.

For example, while researching an early court case in New York about the inviolability of the seal of the Confessional, an off-hand mention of “Mrs. Mattingly’s miracle” piqued our curiosity, so we did some more research and discovered a fascinating tale of a miraculous healing that had been coordinated by an American priest and German prince via trans-Atlantic postal mail in 1823. How could we not write about that?

At another point, in the course of researching Terrence Mattingly, one of the great Catholic labor leaders, we found out that the original Mother Jones was also Catholic. And of course, we had to include her story! That’s how it went every step of the way. One interesting story led to another interesting story and before you knew it, we had more interesting stories than we could possibly include in just one book.

NP: You featured not just canonized saints or universally loved Catholics and events in American history, but also some controversial (either mildly or wildly) Catholics and events. It seems to me you don’t whitewash or downplay the controversy. Why was it important to you to share the good, the bad and the ugly here?

ES: Well, as James Joyce wrote, Catholic means, “Here comes everybody.” We’re not just a Church of saints. We’re a Church of sinners as well, and those sinners had a hand in shaping our history, too, for good and bad. To only tell the good parts would only be telling half the story.

Even more fundamentally, though, very few of us are all saint or all sinner. We’re a messy combination of both. And when we look at the last-minute conversions of men like Buffalo Bill, John Wayne, or Dutch Schultz or the tragic loss of faith experienced by someone like General William Tecumseh Sherman or even the mess of contradictions in the lives of Mother Jones, Andy Warhol, and Al Capone, we understand ourselves better. We understand grace better, and get a glimpse of what God can do through even the weakest of his children.

NP: Do you have a favorite entry?

ES: Oh gosh, that’s like asking if I have a favorite child. I enjoy the writing in this book far more than any decent person should enjoy their own work. I definitely have favorite people I met along the way, people to whom I now turn regularly for their prayers. Bishop Joseph Machebeuf, the first bishop of Denver, is one. He reminds me of an evangelizing Yellow Labrador— ever faithful, endlessly enthusiastic, and completely devoted to everyone he served.

Father Peter Whelan, who saved thousands of men’s lives in Andersonville Prison during the American Civil War, is another. I think the actual entries that I enjoy the most, however, are the ones where there’s either some sneaky, understated humor (like the November 30 entry on America’s first Catholic martyr, Father Juan de Padilla) or the entries where we found ways to shine new light on already well-known figures like Dorothy Day and Walker Percy.

NP: As I read through the book, I found myself thinking of who would be in a future, 50 or 100 years from now, version of The American Catholic Almanac, and what current pioneers might be included. I hope you won’t be embarrassed if I included you in there, with your books on a variety of topics and your passionate commitment to sharing our Catholic faith in honest and realistic ways. Are there people or events you wished you could have included in the Almanac?

ES: If I am among the best someone could come up with for some future Almanac, Nancy, the Church is in more serious trouble than I realized!

I will admit, though, that was one of the reasons I was pleased we included Katherine Burton in the Almanac. She was a Catholic convert and freelance writer, who was absolutely prolific throughout the 1930s, 40s, and 50s. She wasn’t a great writer, and almost nothing of hers remains in print, but she wrote a lot and she wrote well on a wide range of topics, particularly women’s place in the world. She’s a terrific example of a faithful, ordinary Catholic trying her best to help her contemporaries know and love the Faith—a patron “saint” for Catholic hack writers like myself, I suppose.

As for other stories, yes! There were so many we couldn’t tell, simply because of space limitations. Likewise, we wanted everything attached in some way to a date, and on some days 10 interesting things happened. On others, we were lucky to find one thing. That means people like our newest Blessed, Sister Miriam Teresa Demjanovich, and the religious sister who took on Billy the Kid, Blandina Segale, didn’t make it in. But hopefully, the Almanac will just inspire people to go out and do more reading on their own.

NP: What is your next project?

ES: Brian has this crazy plan to maybe do a second volume of The American Catholic Almanac, but we need to see how this one goes first. In the meantime, I’m getting ready to start writing a travel column for The Boston Globe’s new Catholic website, Crux.

That’s particularly exciting for me because it’s going to give me the chance to write a bit more about some of the people and places covered in the Almanac and visit those places as well. I’m afraid this Almanac has turned me into the crazy Catholic trivia lady. I’ll probably be annoying people for the rest of my life with the odd facts and fun stories I’ve learned this past year!

Father Benedict Groeschel, Rest in Peace

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I learned this weekend that Father Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R., died on the eve of the feast of St. Francis of Assisi.  May he rest in peace!

He was such a sensible, holy voice in so many ways. Anyone who saw him on EWTN‘s “Sunday Night Live” for many years will recall many great interviews and insights there.

Here are four books that I consider Father Groeschel classics, from a quick perusal of my bookshelves.  I know he wrote many more, and I loved many more, but it’s a start.

Father Groeschel was a psychologist, and worked in the field for many years, so his advice about matters emotional and mental is both time-tested, professional and sensible, but with gentleness.

Here is where I briefly reviewed Arise from Darkness: What to Do When Life Doesn’t Make Sense, along with several newer classic book about mental health issues.  But it’s a gem.

Travelers Along the Way: The Men and Women Who Shaped My Life is a  relatively easy read, but very substantial and edifying at the same time.

I’m going to excerpt from my prior review of this great read:

This book is like a “who’s who” of Catholicism, from mini-biographies of saints and blessed, the famous and the obscure, in fascinating color. Each chapter is a little gem of anecdotes and memories of the particular fellow “traveler,” from Cardinal Cooke to Groeschel’s secretary.

The prolific Fr. Groeschel is easy to read (in the best sense of the word); he’s such an excellent writer that he makes it look easy to write in a conversational, relational style. Travelers Along the Way puts that great style to good use, as you can easily pick up and read one “traveler’s” story.

The Saints in My Life: My Favorite Spiritual Companions is very similar to Travelers Along the Way, but instead of stories of people Fr. Groeschel knew, the stories here are about his spiritual friendship with saints over his life and vocation. Nicely organized and useful for considering how the reader is impacted by saints.

Finally, here is a book I couldn’t locate on my bookshelf–I must have loaned it out to someone.  But even thinking about this book again brings up strong emotions.

In , A Priest Forever: The Life of Eugene Hamilton, Father Groeschel writes so beautifully about the life of a young man who had a longtime vocation to the priesthood. From the description (since I can’t peruse the book, nor can I find where I’ve written about it before–it must be offline):

This is the true story of Eugene Hamilton, a young man who dreamed of becoming a priest; a young man stricken with terminal cancer as his life was just beginning; a man who was ordained, by papal dispensation, just hours before he died.

My memory of reading it:  I  was a new mother with one baby when I first read this book.  I found myself weeping about his death, but also deepening my sense of by the nature of vocation, the gift of the priesthood to the rest of the people of God, and the beauty of life and death.

Do you have a favorite Father Groeschel book?  Any impressions of his life or advice?

Meet a Reader: Ellen Tallon

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{Following is this month’s “Meet a Reader” feature that appears in this week’s print version of The Catholic Post.}

Ellen Tallon

How you know me:

I am a parishioner of St. Ann Church in Peoria with my husband and foster daughter. I grew up in Morton and attended Blessed Sacrament Parish where my parents are still members. I have been a teacher for 20 years and have worked at Peoria Notre Dame and Peoria Heights High School. I am active in TEC, WATCH, JAM, and Cursillo.

Why I love reading:

I love to read because I love to learn. I especially love to read books and articles about three topics: faith, people, and science. The books I enjoy most intertwine those topics. Although I did not always enjoy reading I found it was the best way to learn about new things. Throughout the years, I mostly read scientific journals, but I have learned to appreciate biographies and novels. As a teacher, I love to challenge myself.

What I’m reading now:

I am currently reading two books.


Inheritance: How Our Genes Change Our Lives—And Our Lives Change Our Genes by Sharon Moalem, discusses how genetic breakthroughs are transforming our understanding of the world and our own lives. It is remarkably spiritual and scientific at the same time.


I’m also reading Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table by Shauna Niequest. It’s a series of short experiences around the table which help us to grow in our faith by sharing a meal with family and friends. It brings the focus of meals back to the ultimate feast of bread and wine in the Body and Blood of Christ.

My favorite book:


My favorite book is A Love Worth Giving: Living in the Overflow of God’s Love by Max Lucado. In the book, Lucado takes the verses from 1 Corinthian 13:4-8 and makes it unforgettable in our daily lives in very simple ways.

He has the ability to take the verses which are so familiar to us and turn them around so that we can evaluate how we are loving those around us. Do we love them the way God intended us to love others as ourselves? I have reread this book several times, and each time I learn more about the incredible love God has for us if we only are willing to allow Him to love all of us.