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Reading Catholic and catholic

Seasons

Can You Relate? {Lent Book Series}

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Today the Lent Book Series features guest writer Liesa Dugan.

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Relativism—have you heard about it yet?

I really only noticed the term about a year ago when scrounging through some books on display at a conference I was attending. It is sometimes difficult to keep this mind of mine engaged in reading material.

So I wasn’t surprised that the slim size of this little book entitled, Absolute Relativism: The New Dictatorship by Chris Stefanick  grabbed my attention-challenged brain.


Don’t be frightened by the ‘deep’ sounding word. Clearly, you need NOT be a theologian, philosopher or brainiac to dive into this subject matter on relativism if someone like….well, me….can read, understand and identify the concept in action in our society.

What the heck is Relativism?

Well, if that is what you are thinking right now, may I say you are a brilliant student/reader.

Pope Benedict XVI stated that relativism is “the greatest problem of our time.”  Stefanick goes on to say, “Relativism is the idea that there is no universal, absolute truth but that truth differs from person to person and culture to culture.”

Basically, relativism takes political correctness to another level.  A relativist believes that everyone should be allowed to believe as they like without being challenged by others.   A relativist feels that they have the right to believe solely what they feel is right for them, not you.  They state that you should not impose your beliefs on an individual because they have the ability to make up their own morals, values, and rules to live by.

And this is a problem because….?

I am in no way, shape or form going to rewrite Stefanick’s book. He does an incredible job of explaining and dissecting this philosophy in his book.

So I say, read it! I can guarantee you won’t look at another television show, neighbor, or family member the same way again.

(That’s a good thing? Yes!)

By identifying how this disjointed form of acceptance and tolerance is weaving itself into the fabric of our daily lives, you can help unravel the harm it is doing to your family and faith.

You may not know it yet. but relativism is harming the world in which your children are growing up.  Simply because this philosophy of living has not been widely discussed or examined, it is sneaking into our own homes and wreaking havoc on our families.

Today I’m playing mom with the yucky medicine bottle and saying, “Take this.”

As an excellent offering for Lent, read this little book: Absolute Relativism: The New Dictatorship by Chris Stefanick.

You will thank me later…

For the reading-challenged, here’s Youtube video by Stefanick about relativism:

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Liesa Dugan and husband Jim have been married for 23 years. They have three fabulous daughters 18, 16, 12. The two met at NIU as they were earning their degrees in Communications. Liesa has enjoyed spending most of her mom days at home raising their three daughters. On the side, she has assisted at parishes with various ministries, worked for Catholic Charities to assist with public relations, lead the Elizabeth Ministry at two parishes.  Currently, she leads the Drama Club at St Jude Catholic School.

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“Less Right, More Love” {Lent Book Series}

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Today the Lent Book Series features guest writer Melissa Bland.

Ok, I have an admission to make. Although I love books, and am married to a terrific bibliophile, I rarely take the time in this season of life to read actual grown-up, enrich-my-life, discussion-worthy books. With homeschooling three, and chasing a fourth away from stairs and electrical cords, reading Farmer Boy with my seven-year-old is the closest I’ve gotten to literature lately.

Lent is upon us, however, and each year I like to choose book to guide my school-aged young ones through Lent in a joyous, thoughtful manner. This year, I’m pulling Bringing Lent Home with Mother Teresa by EWTN host Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle down from my shelves.

Bringing Lent Home with Mother Teresa is organized by day with each day providing a quote from Blessed Mother Teresa, reflections for parents, family prayer, a brief story from Mother Teresa’s life, suggestions for fasting and almsgiving that day, and a closing prayer.

Suggestions for fasting and almsgiving are not necessarily your typical “giving up sweets” ideas…One day you are advised to give up worry, another to abstain from grumbling. (I can’t wait to get to that day!)

I liked using this book quite a lot—it requires no prep and can be pulled out at breakfast to start the day right or at lunch for a midday focus on spiritual things.

Normally, I shy away from the “Spiritual Stuff Every Day” books that fill the shelves of Catholic bookstores—just not enough depth and context to be meaningful for me. But during Lent, I think it’s appropriate to use a guide for the day-by-day journey through the desert to Easter.

Because O’Boyle is writing in such little bits, however, I have to be careful how I use this guide, lest it become a daily finger-wagging from Mommy. “See, Blessed Mother Teresa says you shouldn’t grumble.” This is especially true in this year when I’ve resolved to be less “right” and more “Love.”

Although each member of our household (minus baby) has his or her own individual Lenten promises to keep, having a tool like this book to join us together on the journey is a real blessing that I look forward to using again this year. And, I can’t think of a better guide than Mother Teresa to reflecting on Pope Francis’ theme for Lent this year: “He became poor, so that by his poverty, you might become rich.”

Melissa Bland is wife to Andrew (physician/teacher working at OSF for the U Of I College of Medicine at Peoria) and mother to Emily (12), Alayna (10), Kayla (7) and Nathaniel (8 mos.)  She left Speech Pathology in 2001 to raise, and then homeschool her babies, and prays that she always loves her calling so much.  

She is a cradle Catholic whose faith was re-energized when her husband joined the church in 2005. She is a member of St. Anthony Parish in Bartonville where she is a catechist, lector, and gopher.

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A Beginning of Sorts {Lent Book Series}

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imageToday starts the Lent Book Series. As I’ve mentioned before, this is something of an experiment. But as e-mails from local writers have come in, I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how varied and interesting are the submissions.  Plan on this being an annual feature here.

I’ve struggled with how to start off this series for Lent, what book to choose—it seemed a big burden for any one book. So how to start?

Initially, I wanted to feature a book  that I plan to use in my April column as a mid-Lent pick-me-up, I’m enjoying it so much. But when one of my guest writers here chose that as her book to feature, I thought it best to hold off (though I told her I will likely still put it in my April column).

I’m starting with the Holy Father’s theme for Lent 2014:

“He became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich.” from 2 Cor 8:9.

(Each year, the Holy Father releases a letter in advance of Lent that features a Scripture verse and a short message about living the season.)

Consider this an invitation to the Holy Father’s message for Lent. Here’s a link and it’s well-worth reading.

Reading through this message has me pondering— what does it mean to be poor? What does it mean to be rich? How does Lent help to focus on what’s really important us during this season?

One idea that’s been really sticking with me, but I’m not ready to commit to this year, is a compelling idea from Susan Vogt’s new book Blessed by Less: Clearing Your Life of Clutter by Living Lightly. One Lent, Susan and her husband in 2012 did the Food Stamp Challenge—living on the daily amount of about $4.50 a day, for the course of Lent. She blogged about it beginning here. I wonder how that would work with a family of five—we’d have $22.50 a day. Her blog posts reference how long it took to shop and how hard it was to eat healthfully.

I wrote before about how I’m giving up my Fitbit for Lent. I know that sounds goofy, and it was funny the comments on Facebook, but I promise there is a meaning to it, and I hope to write about that in the next week or so.

Reading-wise, as I mentioned in my March column, I did pull off the shelf In Conversation with God Volume 2, and plan to read those reflections daily and encourage the teens here to do so as well.

We have also been trying to fit more silence in at home. I homeschool our two younger children, and we decided to make Friday lunches silent during Lent.

Today, Ash Wednesday was our a practice day, and it worked out pretty well. We set the timer for 20 minutes and ate silently.  We lit a candle, and agreed in advance that we wouldn’t take the time to read, either. It was interesting, all the sounds one notices!

During the time, I recalled several things we needed at the grocery store, and quickly added them to the grocery list on my iPhone. My 10-year-old wrote on a piece of paper about two-thirds of the way through, “This is hard.” We wondered later if those were not “in the spirit” of it. But we made it through.

So let me put those two simple questions out there:

What are you doing for Lent?

What are you reading for Lent?

#Behold2014 Highlights

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Today completes 7 posts in 7 days.  I have SO enjoyed this challenge, and love hearing from people who have been following along.  But I’m also SO glad it is completed now.

I’m sharing various photos and impressions from this year’s Behold Conference, yesterday here in central Illinois.

Friday night was a gathering of bloggers with a dinner and a talk by Dr. Jillian Stalling, a local NPF-only ob/gyn.  Her talk inspired a very spirited discussion among the mostly younger moms and bloggers about NFP and life in general.  A great time was had by all, and I loved getting to see local friends and fellow bloggers from this area Bonnie & Britta and meet Kendra and Deirdre as well as meet several new-to-me bloggers, including Molly from Molly Makes Do, Elizabeth from That Married Couple, and Annie from Annery at Home.

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Elizabeth (and her little one) and Molly at Friday night’s gathering.
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Dr. Stalling during her talk at Friday night’s gathering.

 

Saturday was, for me at least, a great mix of seeing tons of women I know and love, from all over the diocese, or who have moved away and come back, new faces and people to meet.

 

 

Some photo highlights and impressions:

 

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Some quotes and impressions from the day:

Mother Assumpta quoting from Mother Teresa, “Give God permission. Trust him.”

Marie Miller singing 6’2” and a group of teens in the audience screaming when she knew what song was coming.

Bonnie Engstrom instagraming terrific photos throughout the day with the tag line (a little long for a hashtag) “you might be at a Catholic women’s conference if” … there’s a line for confession…. there’s adoration ….. there’s a mother’s room by a changing table.  I told her I wished there were a retweet (or reInstagram? Guess that’s why there’s not one) button on Instagram so I could share.

Happy and sweet little baby noises during Mass.

So many baby bumps, I couldn’t even count. I broke, on numerous occasions, the rule to not ask a woman when she was due. And lucky for me, I wasn’t wrong.

Seeing my older teenage daughter connecting and re-connecting with other great teen girls we know.

Mother Assumpta Long in her breakout talk, “When God is Silent”–“The main thing is, never give up. Be patient and persevere.”

I also enjoyed greatly reflecting on past Behold conferences, and considering all the speakers and bloggers who have been at past conferences, from Jen Fulwiler, Teresa Tomeo, Kate Wicker, and the whole group of bloggers who came to the conference in 2012. I wrote about the 2012 conference here and here (among other places), and the 2011 conference here .  The last link was actually a post of live blogging, basically a post I updated through the day. I wasn’t on Twitter back then, and this was an interesting way to do it.  I actually like this format and may want to revisit it for future events.

 

This year at Behold (especially since I was only a minor volunteer this year, helping the meal director with traffic flow during lunch), I spent a good amount of time in adoration or in quiet time, really the better to soak up everything I could from the talks and the visits with friends I don’t see very often, or get to know new friends.  I also had time to be on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

Behold 2014 was kind of like a retreat day with social media off & on. It may sound strange, but something about that really worked. I don’t consider Behold a retreat day necessarily. And that’s okay. It was a hybrid or mixup of prayer, connection with God, connection with neighbor, huge laughter, music, social media.

If you were at #Behold2014, what was your favorite part? 

 

 

 

Being the Beloved

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Following is my column that appears in this weekend’s edition of The Catholic Post. I invite your feedback.

Just between you and me, several years back I was apprehensive about confession with a visiting priest at our parish. The reason? The last time I went to a visiting priest for confession, my penance was — an entire Rosary.

I can laugh now, but in my shock, I asked if that’s what he really meant. An entire Rosary was unnerving to someone used to a penance of up to five Hail Marys, with perhaps a Lord’s Prayer thrown in.

But this time, the priest, in his lilting African accent, told me while giving a (non-Rosary) penance, “dear daughter of the King,” and my eyes welled up. Of course I am a daughter of the King–we are all children of the King. His grace and love are for each one of us.

But hearing that in the healing Sacrament intensely spoke to me about how beloved, how truly loved, we are as children of our Heavenly Father.

Even though it’s been years since my “entire Rosary” confession, and my “dear daughter of the King” confession, they were in my mind as I begin to reflect on “what to do” this Lent.

Then this thought occurred: what about trying to understand how much we are dear sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father?

That’s where Henri Nouwen’s Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World offers food for Lenten thought. It’s not a new book—it was first published in 1992, but reprinted in a handsome new version in 2013. And it has the feel of a spiritual classic, especially for our post-Christian time. My husband Joseph has been encouraging/pestering me to read this book for some time, and I am so glad he persisted.

In “Life of the Beloved,” Fr. Nouwen explores—for a longtime Jewish friend who asks him—what the Christian life entails. His friend wants to hear about a life of faith in a way that he and his secular friends can understand. Nouwen sums it up in this book-long exposition of the concept of knowing that we are beloved by God (cf 1John 4:10).

Here’s why I’m surprised to find this book so compelling. Normally, I tend to gravitate towards spiritual writing that is “practical”—that may not make sense, but if you’re a “do-er” you will know what I mean. I want action items, prayers to say, saints to know.

But Life of the Beloved sweeps away all of those “to-dos” that I—and surely others—are so fond of, whether in the physical or spiritual life, and invites us to rest in God’s unconditional pure love.

Because Nouwen was writing for a secular audience about the spiritual life, there aren’t a lot of quotes from the saints or even Scripture, though Scripture is implicit in every page. But this simplicity creates a deceptively easy read that is compelling and enduring.

Nouwen struggled with depression much of his adult life, so how he writes this book is very personal and very authentic, in how he relates the importance of being beloved by being, like the Eucharist, taken, blessed, broken and given.

The book has so many great quotes that speak to the whys of being “beloved.” As I read through it, I’ve been sharing them regularly with friends because they have such resonance for the Christian life:

*“I don’t know anyone who is really happy because of what he or she has. True joy, happiness and inner peace come from the giving of ourselves to others. A happy life is a life for others.”

*“The movement of God’s Spirit is very gentle, very soft—and hidden.  It does not seek attention.  But that movement is also very persistent, strong and deep.  It changes our hearts radically. The faithful discipline of prayer reveals to you that you are the blessed one and gives you the power to bless others.”

Despite all my talk here, I must admit that as a do-er, I will be giving up chocolate, and “doing things” for Lent (and reading several books—see below). But I’ll also be pondering the message of Life of the Beloved through it all, and seeking to believe that I am a dear daughter of the King.

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So what else will I be reading?

l’ll be taking off the shelf the Lent & Easter Volume of  In Conversation with God by Fr. Francis Fernandez. Many years ago, I received the entire set as a gift from my husband, and read it over that year and a few others. Recently, when a friend mentioned it again as great spiritual reading, I resolved to read these short, so-relevant daily reflections.

I will also be implementing some of the ideas in Blessed by Less: Clearing Your Life of Clutter by Living Lightly by Susan V. Vogt.

The cover design of Blessed by Less is bare bookshelves—a thing I can’t imagine for a moment at our house—but I wasn’t daunted from reading it, and I’m glad I did. While many books about reducing clutter can be helpful, Vogt offers a fresh, spiritual approach to living with less, whether in possessions, thoughts or unhealthy patterns.

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This is six out of seven posts for 7 posts in 7 days.

Also, don’t forget about the Lent Book Series.

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This Lent, I and other local-ish writers will be sharing books that are helpful during a Lent journey. Consider joining in with us and learning about new or classic books all Lent long.

7 Quick Takes: Bloggers I’d Love to Meet at Behold

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Day 5 of 7 posts in 7 days…is exhausting, and so glad to hear others are having similar struggles getting through this blogging challenge.

Since I did blog twice this week (Tuesday and Thursday) in advance of the Behold Conference in honor of two of the far-away bloggers who will be there, I thought it would be fun to list seven other bloggers I wish I could meet at Behold.  I know I will be seeing lots of bloggers I know in real life already, like Marcia, and Marie, and Bonnie, and Katie, and Kelly, and I’m sure more that I’m forgetting. I don’t think of these women at all as “bloggers,” just as people I know and love who happen to have blogs.

Like many people, I have a like/love/hate relationship with all things online.  But I’m really struck by how connected I’ve become with women online that I’ve never met.  And while I know a few of them from yahoo -e-group days when there was a lot of conversation, I don’t really “connect” much with them, as I’m not a very-often commenter.  But I like getting to see what people are up to.

These are women (all women, it turns out) I’d love to have coffee with, mostly because they are just normal women with blogs, rather than Big Name Bloggers®  (not that there is anything wrong with that). I know there are more than seven, but I’m just going to quickly list until I get to seven, and maybe do this again.   They are not blogs one must follow, or even visit, they are just several of my particular online people.  There’s no particular order here.

1. Faith of Household Diary.

Faith is one of the earliest people I met online, on several now-defunct yahoo groups on children’s literature and homeschooling.  She is just real, and a kindred spirit.

2. Melissa Wiley.

Thinking of how I first “met” Faith, reminded me that Melissa should be listed here.

Well, okay, Melissa is a Big Name Author®), but I am adding her here because I also knew her through some old yahoo groups from years back (and a Maud Hart Lovelace e-list we’re both still on). I love the ways she writes, and I find her blog and all her writing, whether about tidal homeschooling, poetry, internet life, or books, so encouraging, uplifting and funny.

Back when we had a girls book group at our house, Melissa was slated to be a “virtual” guest author (we had several in-person visits and several “virtual” visits over the years), but it had to be cancelled at the last moment because my father was hospitalized and I headed to Ohio.  We never were able to reschedule and it’s a big regret.

3. Katie of Runs for Cookies.

Okay, maybe she is a Big Name Blogger® (I’m not sure what the criteria is), but Katie is really real.  I don’t even know if she’s Catholic or not, but she’d certainly be welcome at Behold.  I cannot recall how I stumbled across Katie’s blog, but I love her weight loss journey, her writings about running, writing about a family friend’s cancer treatment, and just her real-ness.

4. Nancy of And the Rough Places Plain.

I discovered Nancy shortly after I joined Twitter, when Dorian Speed (for my next list?) said, “Just realized that NancyO and Nancy Piccione are not the same person.”  We are both gray-haired, but she is more refined.

I am I keep forgetting about Nancy’s blog because I can’t figure out how to follow someone on tumblr or get e-mail updates without figuring out tumblr, and I can barely blog for seven days straight, much less figure out.  And I do see her comments around the Internet on different Catholic blogs.   Her photos and reflections on European architecture, travel and Catholic life make me feel smarter even when I only have a moment to skim.

5.  Mary Lenaburg of Passionate Perseverance.

I’m actually Facebook friends (one of a few I’ve never met)  with Mary, and I’m not really sure how that happened.  I think it may be because we have DC friends in common–my friends from way back when we lived there.  I really, really enjoy her both on Facebook and on the rare times when I can check in with her blog.   Her recipes look terrific, she’s really real about her life in general.  She’d be a fun coffee date.

6.  Colleen Swaim of Duel to the Death.

I “know” Colleen and Matt Swaim because I’ve reviewed books by both of them (and one, Your College Faith, written by both of them).  Matt is the new host of the SonRise Morning Show on EWTN, which I understand is terrific.

There are a handful of authors who I would love to meet some day, and I’ve even arranged to do that a few times (hi, Robin Davis!). Colleen is one of them.  She feels like a (much) younger sister to me, we are that similar, and yet different, in the way sisters are–does that make sense?  It does to me.

7.  Katie of NFP & Me. 

I featured Katie back when I reviewed Adam & Eve after the pill.  Again, I don’t keep up with Katie or her blog that much, but I thought of her when I was considering people I’d love to see at Behold.  This close-to -graduation med student is now expecting her first child and getting ready for residency.  She just seems like fun.

As I finish this, I am thinking of so many more people I’ve come to know online and would love to meet in real life. I definitely want to do this again!

Also linking up here with Jen’s 7 Quick Takes.