• Skip to main content

Reading Catholic

Reading Catholic and catholic

  • Home
  • About
  • A Literary Pilgrimage
  • Book Group

Pro-Life

Another 9/11 Anniversary and books to ponder

September 10, 2013 by Nancy Piccione

Tomorrow marks the 12th anniversary of 9/11.   Do you commemorate this sad anniversary?  Do you remember where you were on the day? I do (and wrote about it for my column on the 10th anniversary of 9/11), and I think most people have total recall of that moment and day.

As usual, I’ve got some book suggestions for helping to both remember and to process 9/11.  And as if often true for tough topics, children’s books can be a great choice.

The primary book that I reviewed for the 10th anniversary was a children’s book about the events of 9/11, He Said Yes:  The Story of Father Mychal Judge, by author Kelly Ann Lynch.   It wasn’t entirely intentional to focus on a children’s book, but as I argue, sometimes “just a kid’s book” can be more insightful and meaningful than books for adults.

hsycoverAt the time of the 10th anniversary, I listened to a radio interview with a American studies professor discussing the “art of 9/11,” focusing exclusively on novels, movies and songs for adults that have come out of the tragedy, and their meaning, and how they have helped us heal (or not) after 9/11.

It was a fascinating interview; yet I found myself thinking about how much more do children need help in processing and understanding difficult events like what happened on 9/11.

I was a volunteer in the library of our local Catholic grade school, and I was fortunate to get a chance to read He Said Yes with different grades of kids, and we talked about what happened that day.

This book ended up being a great way for kids who were unaware of 9/11 to learn about it gently, as 9/11 images were all over the news, and the students are bound to be confronted with it.  Learning about the heroism of Father Judge and others will give, I hope, some framework for understanding beyond the images.

Some of the kids asked me, “Is that a true story?” so we talked about how Father Judge is the listed as the first official fatality on that day.

I was surprised that every single time I read it, I choked up on the last pages of the book, when author Lynch quotes John 15:13, “When Father Mychal ran to the towers, he was following in the footsteps of Jesus, who told his disciples, “No one has grater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Two other excellent children’s books to help the young and not-so-young explore 9/11:

coverThe Little Chapel That Stood by A.B. Curtis is a beautifully illustrated and lyrical poem-book about Old St. Paul’s Church, which survived the attacks at Ground Zero, and became a place of refuge for firefighters and others.

If you can, reading an actual copy of The Little Chapel That Stood makes for great reading with small children; the book itself is handsome and a nice size.  (I finally did break down and buy a copy of the book after a visit to the 9/11 memorial this summer).

If you can’t locate a copy of the book, please consider reading it online on the author’s website.

If you do, remember that this book needs to be read out loud for full effect.  Be prepared to choke up a little if you do read it out loud, when you read many lines, especially about how the firefighters hung up their shoes on the fence of the church:

“Oh what gallant men we did lose, who never came back to get their shoes!”

[The interesting Catholic trivia connection to Old St. Paul’s, an Episcopal Church, is that St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, the first American-born canonized saint, was married to her husband, William Seton, in St. Paul’s, on January 25, 1774.]

349170

Fireboat:  The Heroic Adventures of the John J. Harvey by Maira Kalman, is another great book about the great and small heroism around 9/11.

This book, too, shows how ordinary people worked to stop the fires at the Twin Towers with a previously retired and restored 1930s-era fireboat.  The illustrations are a kind of modern folk-art, and the text is delightful in conveying such difficult themes.

Do you know of any other 9/11 books for children or adults?  How are you discussing 9/11 with your children?

Here are some links to my prior writings on 9/11 books:

Here is my column on the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

Here is a Q&A with Kelly Lynch, author of He Said Yes.

That summer, I happened to discover QR codes, and became obsessed with making my own that could go in the print edition of The Catholic Post.  I did eventually make one, that would lead readers to a prayer for 9/11.  You can read about that here.

Finally, I wanted to share a few photos and reflections from the 9/11 Memorial Site.  Our family had the opportunity while in New York City last summer to visit the site and some related areas nearby.

IMG_1234Here is a photo of the interior of St. Paul’s Church, the “Little Chapel that Stood.”  Much of the church is given over to displays on 9/11.  It was quite moving–this was a bed that had been used (among dozens of others) to house workers in the days after 9/11.

IMG_1231
This is not exactly apropos of 9/11, but I found this memorial marker in St. Paul’s fascinating. Notice that the man here died, “in the midst of his usefulness.” May it be said of all of us.

The memorial itself is on the site of the twin towers.  Some of the entry areas, and the museum, are still under construction, but it’s a fascinating site.  It’s also heavily visited, and we were fortunate that we could get in after a short-ish wait.  Often there is a long wait to go through security for it, and you can order tickets ahead of time.  We were not aware that tickets were even needed.

The memorial itself consists of the footprints of the two towers.  In place of the each tower, there is a square flowing fountain.

IMG_1254IMG_1256Later that day, I had an interesting discussion with one of my brothers-in-law about the memorial, and his strong objections to it (He’s an architect, so he has some expertise and opinions about these sorts of things).

He commented that the falling water at the memorials was “always falling” as if the towers were falling again.  I don’t agree, since I saw the water and the fountains as cleansing and healing for the land there.  It’s just interesting how there can be different perspectives on the same place.

Around the fountains is a framework, listing all those who died on 9/11, not just in the two towers, but also the planes, those at the Pentagon, and the site in Pennsylvania.

IMG_1296
Here is Father Mychal Judge’s name

IMG_1277Here is something I became just a little obsessed with at the memorial.  For some women listed, the wording is “and her unborn child.” (this photo is of “Jennifer Howley and Her Unborn Child.”)

I kept walking around the framework looking for other women who perished in the towers along with their unborn children.  On my casual look I found six total, but there may be more. I was not thinking in a pro-life extremist way, that somehow these lives were more precious because they were so innocent.  Rather, I wondered how the wording happened to be agreed upon, especially in our day and age.

How did these women come to be listed with their unborn children?  Did the families request it?  Were they offered the opportunity to add this on? Was there any controversy about this among the memorial makers?

There is so much political correctness that surrounds abortion, especially in a city like New York.  It’s just intriguing to consider what the backstory on this might be.  More importantly, however, we spent a lot of time that day praying for those who died that day, born and unborn, and that there may be peace in our world.

IMG_1286Are you doing anything to remember the 9/11 anniversary?

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • More
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

How “Planet Money” helped me write about NFP

August 4, 2013 by Nancy Piccione

For several years, I’ve been loving the podcast put out by Planet Money, the NPR economics team that explores cultural and political issues, from the housing crisis to the “song of the summer” through the lens of economics. I listen to it on long runs or walks, and I almost always find it interesting and discussion-worthy.  Recent extra-good ones: “The Eddie Murphy Rule”  and “when patents hit the podcast” and pretty much all the rest, so go check it out, and if you listen to podcasts, definitely put this one in your queue.

Some time ago, Adam Davidson, co-founder of Planet Money, began writing the “It’s the Economy “ column for the New York Times, and I’ve followed those as well. I’ve noticed and admired the structure of the column lends itself to pondering big issues in a truly accessible way. Davidson usually starts with the story of one particular person, then explores an issue in depth, and finishes (perhaps a Jack Handey SNL-nod?) with “deep thoughts for this week”–several statements that sum the issue(s) and pose other questions. Here’s a recent one on “What’s an idea worth?” on the notion that perhaps the billable hour has outlived its usefulness.

So when a Facebook mini-kerfuffle transpired last week regarding NFP and the sharing of an article about family size, I didn’t comment initially for many, many complicated reasons. But I did have some in-real-life discussions with some of those involved in the comment thread, and wanted to organize my thoughts more clearly and present them in some way, because the issues here are really important.

WM-Hormone-Free-Chicken1-2

On a mid-week run, I happened to listen to a Planet Money podcast, and mused again how there should be a Catholic version of that podcast, or a Catholic version of “This American Life” (though I would argue there is very much, of both of those shows that is catholic and Catholic, one of the reasons why they are such compelling listening).

And then, the structure of “It’s the Economy” column morphed with a “Planet Money” podcast, presented itself as a way to organize how I want to respond to the kerfuffle. So, thanks to Planet Money and Adam Davidson, who unknowingly have furthered Catholic discussion on NFP and family size.

——

I grew up in a big family–I’m on the younger end of six kids–and I have to say it was terrific, and it still is. We just got back from a “beach week” reunion of all six siblings, spouses, and what seems like dozens of cousins. It was a blast to have so many people around, and talking loudly about whatever, and eating too much, and staying up too late, and popcorn pop-offs, and beach time, etc.

I’m not looking at my past or present with rose-colored glasses–every family can have dysfunction and craziness. Yes, maybe there was too much noise on our vacation, and once I got into a shouting match friendly disagreement with two of my sisters, and I started crying and stormed off, but we talked it through later and agreed to disagree.

But overall, my parents made it a happy home when we were growing up, and even though they are gone now, we siblings all love and respect each other and still get along, despite our differences.

That’s why I’m always and truly, every time, genuinely shocked when friends with a largish family talk about the negative comments they get from family members, friends and total strangers when they announce a new baby, or even just have their large families out and about.

I am totally excited to hear about someone having a new baby. If you are my friend in real life, I hope I convey my happiness when you announce a new baby, no matter the circumstances. I’m thrilled for you, even if I know you weren’t planning a baby at this time, or there is a medical or other issue going on, or you’re going to get grief from someone close about “are you really having another?”. A new baby is always amazing and awesome.

And healthy large families are super fun and a great way to grow up. Those of you with larger families may have some sacrifices in terms of sharing rooms or big mom-buses. The parents, in particular the mom, of many, might have to shoulder the cross of the negative comments or outright judgment of others. But all of those are small prices to pay for the benefits of a big family.

But in Catholic circles, there is also a cross that is shouldered by parents or those who would want to be parents, in particular women who do not have “a lot” of children, or who have none. And that is the judgment of others about their family size. This Catholic Herald article is what started the Facebook kerfuffle last week, and the notion implicit here that it’s not “normal” or healthy to have only a few children.

I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve been in a gathering of Catholic women at which a woman with fewer than four children have felt the need to explain, in great detail, why they “only” have three or two or one, or no children. And that really is a shame. Part of that stems from the judgment implicit in articles like this, that it is normal and expected that married couples will inevitably have large families.

But that doesn’t always happen. And there can be a lot of reasons for that. Fertility issues. Marital issues. Family needs. Financial issues. Emotional issues. And so on. Families who might be experiencing any one, or more than one of these issues, are often laid bare to the scrutiny or judgment of others, and really have no recourse or response.

An associated and also completely annoying, problem with this article (and with many blog posts and articles recently about the beauty of large families) is the notion that NFP could be used with a “contraceptive mentality,” or that couples use it as contraception. This one just sends me through the roof. I’m not going to go on at length about this fallacy, but consider reading I use NFP for more about this.

This is a sensitive topic and one difficult to get “right” when trying to convey Church teaching. Unfortunately, many times there can be a significant lack of sensitivity among those who promote large families as a way to demonstrate life-giving love, however well-meaning they are, towards those many families who are smaller.

So, yes, large families do need to be supported and encouraged. But so do smaller families.

And you know what? Both the judging and the defensiveness needs to stop. Whatever your family size, be proud and grateful and happy. Don’t be too quick to assume why a family has fewer, or more, children than you. Even if you think you know.

Tolstoy famously began Anna Karenina with “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” But he was wrong.

Back in college, I wrote an essay arguing the opposite of that first line, and I still believe it. It’s much more true that happy families are as different as each family, and it’s the unhappy ones that are all alike.

“Happy” doesn’t mean “always laughing and having fun,” as anyone knows from living in a family. “Happy” means progress, struggling, loving, not perfection, but seeking for the good and holiness in each other and in the family. And that kind of happy comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes.

Deep thoughts for this topic:

1. Babies are totally awesome, all the time.

2.  There are myriad ways to be a happy and holy family. It can be spiritually hazardous to be either defensive about your own family size (large or small), OR to make assumptions about other families.

3. NFP is not contraception. Period. Don’t even get me started.

4. If you can’t say something nice about someone’s family size, don’t say anything at all.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • More
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Worth a Listen: TobyMac’s "Speak Life"

February 27, 2013 by Nancy Piccione

(Sharing great songs that are inspiring, uplifting and/or are otherwise “worth a listen”).

I started this Wednesday feature, “Worth a Listen,” last year, and I’ve enjoyed getting to share some of my favorites.

Here’s where I explain myself and why I’m “unashamed” about my love for “Christian music.”  I refer there to various Catholics who dislike Christian music, and how this made me feel at times “sheepish” to love Christian music, like I’m not one of the “cool kids,” but I’m over that now.

Marc Barnes of “Bad Catholic” is just the latest of these with his “Five Reasons to Kill Christian Music.”  Normally Marc is amazing to read, but to me this argument reads like, “Why I personally like Mumford & Sons better than Chris Tomlin.”  To which I respond:  de gustibus.


I asked my teenage daughter to help me come up with some videos to share here for “Worth a Listen.”

Fortunately, we both like the same kind of music (update: I have been told in no uncertain terms that we do NOT like the same kinds of music.  I told said teenager, “we don’t like ALL the same kinds of music, exactly as it should be.” )

I love this song so much, and while I normally don’t like lyric videos, this one is beyond great.  It’s also the official lyric video from Toby Mac, so that helps.

Probably my favorite lines from this song:

Lift your head a little higher
Spread the love like fire 
Hope will fall like rain
When you speak life 
With the words you say

Raise your thoughts a little higher

Use your words to inspire
Joy will fall like rain
When you speak life with the things you say

I just want to put all the lyrics here.  Listen to the whole song, and smile.  Then consider the ways you can “speak life” today.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • More
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

A Tale of Two Books About …. Pregnancy

October 16, 2012 by Nancy Piccione

When I review certain books, I have often shared them informally with others–such as medical experts or even kids–to help me discern if they are good for the intended audience, or what their gut reaction is to a certain book.

I’ve decided to formalize this by sharing conversations to provide a perspective that’s unique, and give readers a chance to understand a little more about a genre of books from the intended audience.

First in this series of conversations is with an expectant mom and her unique perspective about two different books intended for new moms: the newly-released from Sarah Reinhard, A Catholic Mother’s Companion to Pregnancy: Walking with Mary from Conception to Baptism and Donna-Marie Cooper-O’Boyle’s classic, Prayerfully Expecting: A Nine-Month Novena for Mothers to Be.

Both books are a worthwhile gift for moms-to-be, but because they are so different, a Q&A about them seemed in order. I had the chance to sit down one afternoon recently with Grete Veliz.  Grete is a mom I’ve known for a long time, and admired for a grounded spiritual life, a healthy sense of community, and some of the cutest children around.

If you’re an expectant mom or looking for a gift for one, my hope is that this conversation may help you choose which one (or both!) of these worthwhile books would be best in your situation.

Q:  Grete, tell me a little more about you and your family.

Grete: Mark and I have been married for eight years.  We have four children living at home:  ages 7, 5, 3, and 19 months.  We have lost two to miscarriage and I’m pregnant and expecting a baby next March.

I’m just past the morning sickness part of pregnancy, but still tired.   I’m growing a person inside and it’s hard work!

Q:  Tell me your impressions of A Catholic Mother’s Guide to Pregnancy.

Grete:  When I first got it, I skimmed through the whole book at once to get a feel for it.  Then I started to read the week that I am in (right now, pregnancy (14 weeks).

The author starts each week with an anecdote or story from herself or a guest author.  This week I really liked, because it is a little about how it’s hard to be pregnant for some people.  You are struggling with not feeling well, with being tired.  She invites readers to ask for grace in carrying that particular cross.

I have a lot of good impressions about the book: each week is a different mystery of the rosary; there’s also a faith focus and “one small step.”  This week for me, the “small step” was to go to adoration, even for 15 minutes.  I like those practical ideas.

My only concern was that for many weeks, the chapters began with what I saw as a negative story to tell about pregnancy, either from the author  or a guest writer.  They covered things like unexpected pregnancy, eating disorders, miscarriage, depression, stillbirth, and so on.  I don’t feel you should leave those things out necessarily, but in my situation it became too negative.

I felt especially vulnerable spiritually because I am pregnant this time pretty soon after a miscarriage.  I was approaching this pregnancy with fear; I had a lot of anxiety at the beginning about losing the baby again.  What I really wanted was a book to help me pray daily and connect with our little baby.

Q.  I think I know what you mean.  After my first look at the book, I felt that if I had read it when newly pregnant with our oldest (after a miscarriage), it might not have been the best “fit” for me.  I’m pretty sure it would have intensified rather than soothed the new-parent fears that my husband and I were experiencing.  At the same time, reading it when I was pregnant with my third child would have been a truly great “companion,” like a friend commiserating with you on the good, the bad and the ugly about pregnancy and labor.

Grete:  Exactly!  I feel like A Catholic Mother’s Companion to Pregnancy is more like talking to your Catholic “mom friend” who tells it like it is, and doesn’t hold back about the aches and the pains.  You can really relate to that, but it has to be the right time for those kinds of conversations.

Q.  So you took a look at Prayerfully Expecting.  What’s good about that one?

Grete:   Before I read through either book, I was really trying to figure out just what kind of book I wanted.    I wanted to deepen my trust that God would provide for this pregnancy and for the baby.  I really needed something to help me be more positive, because I was finding it hard to be positive at the beginning.

I love Prayerfully Expecting; it’s exactly what I need right now.  If A Catholic Mother’s Companion is your Catholic “mom friend,” Prayerfully Expecting is like your spiritual director.  It gives you specific guidance, by telling you to say these prayers to help you manage pregnancy, and reflect on these quotes, or this saint’s writing, based on where you are in pregnancy.

Every morning I want to read this one, and so I keep it nearby.  For instance, today I prayed the St. Anne novena prayer for this month of my pregnancy.  The author also focuses on different mysteries of the rosary; this month it is the Luminous Mysteries.  There’s no personal stories from herself or other, just a brief, what’s happening to your baby, development-wise.

This book is structured by month, not week, and each contains quotes from encyclicals, Scripture verses, or saints writings.  The author has a spot for notes and a journal throughout each chapter.  I’m not much of a journal-writer, but it’s a nice mix–a page or a page and a half for each month.

Q.  If you were a first-time mom, which would you choose?

Grete:  Honestly, I wish I could merge both books. Both have strengths and weaknesses.  For instance, Prayerfully Expecting doesn’t have anything about labor or after birth and A Catholic Mother’s Companion’s sections on labor and baptism are terrific.  The labor section offers practical advice on spiritual practices for labor.  Labor can be a lot of suffering, and Reinhard offers advice like praying the stations of the cross, using holy cards.  I found that really helpful.

She also reminds parents in the time after birth to prepare well for baptism; sometimes that can be overlooked, especially for more experienced parents.

For this pregnancy, I’m definitely drawn much more to Prayerfully Expecting, but I gleaned a lot from A Catholic Mother’s Companion. I know it would serve well other moms or even myself during a different pregnancy.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • More
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

After the Revolution, Rotten Fruit, Discouragement–And Hope

July 6, 2012 by Nancy Piccione

During my college years in the 1980s, I was a (nominal) cradle Catholic, and fairly immersed in the college culture of the time.  I was especially drawn to various trendy, or what we called back in the day “politically correct,” ideas and philosophies.

Exhibit A: I thought Gloria Steinem, who spoke at our campus, was glamorous and made terrific sense.
All joking about Gloria Steinem aside, by far the most memorable speaker was a beautiful young woman, a former porn film worker, who gave a speech  (from a feminist perspective) on the evils of pornography.
It gave me–to this day–an implacable hatred of porn as something bad for women and corrosive to society.
I’m incredibly grateful for that speaker, who opened my eyes at such an early age of the high cost of “anything goes.”  But it was awful to sit through and to hear.

Mary Eberstadt’s Adam and Eve After the Pill: Paradoxes of the Sexual Revolution reminds me of hearing that speech.  This book is not enjoyable –in fact, reading it can be downright discouraging.  But it is a must-read in understanding, “the moral core of the sexual revolution (is) the abundant evidence that its fruits have been rottenest for women and children.”

Every single essay-chapter is important and stands alone.  It’s hard to pick out a best chapter, but “The Will to Disbelieve” is crucial in setting up the notion that society at large is largely ignoring the clear results of the sexual revolution, much the same way the “the moral facts about the Cord War remained disputed at the highest intellectual levels, especially on American campuses, until about two seconds before the Berlin Wall came down.”
Perhaps the only hopeful chapter of Adam and Eve After the Pill is “‘Pedophia Chic’ Then and Now” which outlines how just a few short decades ago, pedophilia was more in vogue and even defended in the public square such as mainstream magazine articles.  Ebertstadt writes that it is “a small case of small but real moral progress that bodes a little better for the youngest and most innocent among us, even as it confirms that the sexual revolution has made the world a more dangerous place for them.”
Hope may be hard to come by when reading Adam and Eve After the Pill, but hope and peace suffuse My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Catholic convert Dawn Eden.

In many ways, My Peace I Give You is a personal testimonial to the rotten fruits documented in Adam and Eve After the Pill.  As a child of divorce, Eden experienced sexual abuse in various settings, then as a young adult lived promiscuously to “take control” of her sexuality.  But wholeness and true happiness remained elusive.

In Eden’s 2006 international bestseller, The Thrill of the Chaste, Eden wrote about discovering the appeal that modesty and sexual restraint offer, but had not yet come to terms with the legacy of abuse in her life.
During and after her conversion to Catholicism, Eden sees that healing from those sexual wounds is ongoing and a work of the Holy Spirit, through specific saints who provide solace on the journey.
As she writes to the many who are childhood sexual abuse victim, “I want you to know you are not alone, you are not forgotten, and you have more friends in heaven than you realize.”
My Peace I Give Youis part memoir and part meditations on what the saints can teach us about wholeness of body, mind and spirit, even in the face of searing memories and experiences.
Some of the saints in My Peace I Give You are victims of sexual abuse; some are not; but in Eden’s heartfelt and careful reflection, all have something to offer those who have undergone abuse, or those whose hearts breaks for them.
This column appears on the book page of the print Catholic Post this weekend.  It’s an interesting, I would venture to say providential, “coincidence,” that this review appears here on the feast day of St. Maria Goretti.  Eden in particular has an insightful chapter in her book My Peace I Give You on this much-known but little-understood saint. 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • More
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Q&A with Karen Edmisten, author of "after miscarriage"

May 10, 2012 by Nancy Piccione

Thanks, Karen Edmisten, for being so open and willing to answer all my rambling questions.  You can read my review of After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman’s Companion to Healing & Hope in this weekend’s print Catholic Post or here on the blog.
 
Q. First, can you tell us little more about yourself, your family and your writing?
I’m a former atheist (I was baptized at the age of 30 and came into the Catholic Church at age 35), a wife (my husband came into the Church five years after I did), and a  homeschooling mom of three girls. Our oldest daughter will graduate this year and my other daughters are 15 and 9. I’ve always written in one form or another, but I began writing for publication about five years after I became a Catholic. I started blogging (at Karen Edmisten) in late 2005, and my first book (The Rosary: Keeping Company With Jesus and Mary) was published in 2009. My second book (Through the Year With Mary) came out in 2010.
Q.  Why a book about miscarriage?
I’ve had five miscarriages myself, so it’s something I’ve lived, something I’ve thought a lot about. I wanted to share the things that were helpful and healing to me over the years, and I wanted to offer a specifically Catholic resource to address some of the questions and misunderstandings that I hear about the Church and miscarriage.
And, the grief I experienced through my miscarriages, while devastating at the time, ultimately helped me to grow closer to God, so I also wanted to share some of that hope and encouragement.
I also wanted to reassure others that they are not alone if they feel the grief of miscarriage deeply and for a long time. We’re often expected to “get over it” fairly quickly, and while it’s important to heal and keep moving forward, I think we are often surprised by how shaken we are by the loss.
Q.  You are very candid in the book about your own struggles through multiple miscarriages, and even share journal entries.  What gave you the courage to share this, and were you at all concerned about sharing “too much”?
I don’t really think of myself as courageous – maybe I should be concerned about sharing too much, but that doesn’t usually occur to me! It’s more a matter of thinking, “If this is helpful to someone else, then it’s worth saying.” Maybe because I was, at one time in my own life, such a questioner of all things religious, and I deeply appreciated people who were willing to share their spiritual journeys with me, that I want to do the same for others if I can.
Q.  Having lost a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth is kind of a “sisterhood” in a way.   Do you find women more willing in the age of the Internet/blogs, to share about membership in “the sisterhood” and talk about these kinds of details about their lives?  Is that a good thing or not?
I think we’ve always been willing to share and to support each other in that “sisterhood” – it just seems a natural reaction among women. But I think the age of the internet makes it much easier to find help, support, understanding – and I think that’s a great thing.
Q.  I’m not sure if this is a question or an invitation to discussion about this.  When I interviewed Amy Welborn about her book Wish You Were Here, I was thinking of, but never got to a post about, good books for kids who might be going through grieving.  So many of the books “specifically for or about grieving” left us cold when my own kids were going through the loss of both sets of grandparents in just a few short years.   
Amy had a great response that it isn’t necessarily a book about grieving that helps when you experience a loss, but everyone finds different types of books (perhaps something completely different-mysteries, for instance) /coping mechanisms that are helpful.    It may not be the right time or healing balm to read about death and dying.
And yet the experience of miscarriage/stillbirth is so intimate and unique, I think reading After Miscarriage is helpful for most women who have experienced it, whether recently or long ago.  The resources you provide to places like Elizabeth Ministry and the like are also very helpful and pertinent.  Your thoughts?
Thanks, and yes, I do hope that After Miscarriage ishelpful to women (and men) at any stage of that journey. But I agree with Amy that there are a lot of things that can be helpful that aren’t specifically about grief. Sometimes the tiniest thing was a healing gesture for me – bringing fresh-cut irises from the garden into the house.
One of my miscarriages occurred when my oldest daughter was six years old. She was devastated. I didn’t find that books about grief were all that helpful to her – what helped her the most was just my presence. She simply needed to know that I was there, that we could play Candyland, or go out for ice cream.
When I did read books about grief, they weren’t about the specific kind I was experiencing, but they were what I needed. For example, in After Miscarriage,  I quote A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis, and Two-Part Invention, by Madeleine L’Engle. Both of those books deal with the loss of a spouse, and yet both were extremely helpful and meaningful to me after miscarriages, simply because they so accurately captured the state of grief itself.
Karen and I corresponded about some of the resources that are available to families undergoing a pregnancy loss.  
 
Karen Edmisten and the owner of one resource, Heaven’s Gain, will be on an “After Miscarriage” show on the Catholic Answers Live radio show on May 28th.
 
In addition, Elizabeth Ministry International has a very helpful FAQ page for families undergoing miscarriage or stillbirth.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • More
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...
  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Page 2
  • Page 3
  • Page 4
  • Page 5
  • Go to Next Page »

Copyright © 2025 · Atmosphere Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

  • Home
  • About
  • A Literary Pilgrimage
  • Book Group
%d