Do Sundays “count” during Lent? Good question!

February 28, 2024 by Nancy Piccione

Bringing back and updating this popular post of mine from Lent 2011!

Do Sundays “count” during Lent?

This issue comes up every year. Do you do your Lenten penances on Sunday?

I’ve heard varying opinions on this. Sundays are not counted among the actual 40 days of Lent, so some say Lenten penances should not apply on Sundays. Others think the whole season is penitential, and so therefore we should continue our disciplines. I read once a commentator say that Jesus didn’t take a break during his 40 days of fasting in the desert. Katherine of Team Whitaker falls firmly in the “Sundays count” category.

Here’s a link to a Q&A on Lent from EWTN, and it includes an answer about Sundays. Basically, there’s no official rule, so you are free to choose.

Here’s also another interesting article from a blogger with the Archdiocese of Washington who offers insight on celebrating Sunday.

Count me in the “celebrate Sunday” camp. At our house, we tend to mark Sundays as a day of Resurrection. I might have a piece of chocolate (or not) on Sundays, but my husband, who goes meatless for Lent, usually doesn’t eat meat on Sundays during Lent. Since I’m giving up my Fitbit during Lent (and still sad), I put it away and I’ll bring it out on Easter. (Update: I now go grayscale for Lent, and do not go grayscale on Sundays).

That “Sundays don’t count” wouldn’t apply, obviously, if you were trying to break a bad habit, like smoking or swearing. But if you’re giving up sugar in your coffee or tea, it seems appropriate in some ways to celebrate the mini-Easter that is every Sunday (yes, even a Sunday in Lent) by having it then.

We also celebrate feast days during Lent. In recent Lents, St. Patrick’s Day (March 17), St. Joseph’s Day (March 19), and the Feast of the Annunciation (March 25). We especially celebrate St. Joseph’s day, as we have two in our house (and both granddads were Joseph), with homemade savoiardi and usually a special dinner. To me, they are not just a little “break” during Lent, but a way to really celebrate those important holidays in the liturgical year.

And I know we weren’t alone last March 13, right in the middle of Lent 2013, when we heard “Habemus Papam” and Pope Francis became our pope? We had beef and red wine and chocolate that night, even if they weren’t Argentinian, and I hope you did too.

But when it comes down to the end of the day, Sundays definitely “count” because they are the most important day of the week!

So what about you? At your house, do Sundays “count” during Lent, or do you celebrate a little? How is your Lent going this year?

“Good Boundaries and Goodbyes” Explores Boundaries with Grace

June 9, 2023 by Nancy Piccione

This is my column that appears in this week’s print edition of The Catholic Post.

——-

Most people understand that health is a lifelong practice on a physical level—you don’t “get healthy” once and then abandon the healthy habits that led to it, such as as eating well, getting adequate sleep, exercise, and reducing stress. Our bodies, our lives, are gifts from God, and as disciples, we are called to take care of them.

We can always be learning new things about health. But two things are key to remember:

Just reading about healthy habits doesn’t make you healthy. You have to put them into practice.
There are great, good, and bad (or at minimum less than helpful) sources of advice. We are each responsible for sifting what is good from what is bad involves discernment.

These principles are just as true — even more so — for our mental health. And an important mental health habit is having good boundaries—healthy limits on our relationships, ourselves, and on our interactions with others.

A boundary can be as simple as saying no to a volunteer commitment (often something good!) to prevent burnout or overextending yourself. It can also be as complicated as putting limits on time spent with a coworker or friend who refuses to or ignores clearly articulated requests.

“Boundaries” are often misunderstood (and misused), especially in our current time of mental health gurus with questionable authority. A new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are by Christian author Lysa TerKeurst, explores the concept of boundaries from a Christian and mental health perspective.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes persuasively makes the case that learning to be healthier about boundaries is good not just for our emotional wellbeing, but honoring to God and neighbor.

But that doesn’t make boundaries easy! Far from it. And Terkeurst writes from experience.

She went through a painful divorce after years of her spouse’s addiction issues. Processing her grief during and after helped her realize she lacked healthy boundaries not just in marriage, but in friendships and other relationships.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes explores what boundaries are, how to understand them, and how to implement them in various situations.

While Terkeurst is not Catholic, nothing in the book is contrary to Catholic teaching. And I appreciated her faith-based perspective, her emphasis on Scripture verses throughout, and her exploration through Scripture of the ways God enacts boundaries with humans as a way to protect and preserve relationships.

“I know part of what makes this complicated is that usually by the time we realize we need boundaries, we are carrying hurt,” Terkeurst writes. “Boundaries aren’t meant to be weaponized. They are meant to be used to prioritize keeping relationships safe.”

Several features makes Good Boundaries and Goodbyes stand out: a section at the end of each chapter called “Let’s Live This,” with Scripture verses to ponder, key quotes to remember, questions for personal reflection, and prayers.

The book also includes multiple sidebars of careful explanation of topics from TerKeurst’s Christian therapist, Jim Cress.

Especially useful is a section at the end of the book containing Q&A style explanations and sample “scripts” in refuting objections to boundaries and the Scriptural and psychological principles that undergirds them.

I’ve written often about how caring for our mental health is vital in living out a full, abundant life. Simply being Catholic or practicing our faith does not guarantee the absence of mental health struggles. We need to educate ourselves, and do the hard work of putting what we learn into practice. Good Boundaries and Goodbyes makes that work a little easier.

“Exorcism” Book a Powerful and Well-Reasoned Read on Why We Should Choose Good Over Evil

May 12, 2023 by Nancy Piccione

This is my column that appears in this week’s print edition of The Catholic Post.

When I mentioned to my editor, Jen, that I was considering reviewing a book on exorcism, she said it would be timely because there’s a related new film out. It’s called “The Pope’s Exorcist,” and the movie is (very) loosely based on the life of exorcist Fr. Gabriele Amorth, an exorcist of Rome for many years before his death in 2016.

I say loosely because after watching the preview online (a mistake, but I’ll get to that later), I immediately thought about a line from Fr. Vincent Lampert’s recent book Exorcism: The Battle Against Satan and His Demons:

“(Exorcisms) are never performed in an abandoned house, on a dead-end street, at midnight, during a thunderstorm. That might make for a good movie, but it is not reality.”

After watching the preview, it’s clear that “The Pope’s Exorcist” doesn’t line up with reality. And since I’m not a fan of horror films, that movie is a hard pass from me.

Why I Did End Up Reviewing a Book About Exorcism

But why would I be interested in, or want to review, a book about exorcism? Two reasons:

*First, I heard a podcast interview recently with Fr. Lampert, the author of Exorcism, and I found him sensible, restrained, and well-spoken, infused with a good sense of humor. That last quality is a surprisingly helpful and good quality in an exorcist, especially one who has written a book about his experiences.

*Second, because of the classic C.S. Lewis quote from the preface to The Screwtape Letters, his book imagining letters between demons on how to tempt humans:

“There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them.”

Exorcism: The Battle Against Satan and His Demons tells the story of how Fr. Lampert became an exorcist for the diocese of Indianapolis, how he was trained, and all about exorcisms, the presence of evil and how to avoid it.

If you’re wondering— yes, Fr. Lampert does share some of the chilling and appalling encounters he has experienced during exorcisms. But the book’s strengths lie in educating readers —ultimately — how to have a healthy, well-integrated spirituality that neither ignores the reality of evil, nor over-emphasizes it.

Why Faith is So Important

“The key ingredient in defeating the devil is faith,” Fr. Lampert writes.

One of the most intriguing chapters was “Practical Insights from the Gospel of Mark”; Fr. Lampert details four exorcisms in Mark’s Gospel, and the spiritual insights we can glean from them.

Other chapters of the book explain the rite of exorcism, the different ways the devil inserts himself into our world, but throughout, explaining how God desires what’s best for us, and the devil wants us to be as miserable as he is.

“God wants a sense of cohesion and unity in his creation. The devil just wants a bunch of broken pieces,” says Lampert.

For those interested in modern spiritual reading that is both informative and thoughtful, Fr. Lampert’s book is an absorbing and reassuring read.

Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? A Review of Books on Sex & Gender

October 14, 2022 by Nancy Piccione

This is my column that appears in this week’s print edition of The Catholic Post.

I’ve written before—more than once— about how I, like many people, prefer to avoid tough topics. Can’t we talk about things that are more cheerful than abortion, or pornography, or toxic cultural trends?

And yet… The issues do not go away if we ignore them. The human cost can be very real. Finding reliable, knowledgeable sources is more demanding than ever.

Being an informed Catholic and disciple of Christ is having an openness to learning, as well as a sense of curiosity towards the world and current issues.

That’s why I am so grateful for a book like The Genesis of Gender: A Christian Theory by Abigail Favale, to help put some complex current topics in perspective.

The Genesis of Gender is part memoir, part feminist history and theory, and part spiritual reflection on how we might move forward as a culture.

Favale, an English professor with a deep background in women’s and gender studies, is well-equipped to lead readers through the issues. And as an unlikely Catholic convert, she shows how Catholic theology and worldview is solidly equipped to navigate our complicated times.

Freedom & Gender Identity

The book opens with Favale’s own intellectual and spiritual journey, then zooms out to chronicle the history of feminism, our current cultural moment, and more.

The book’s chapters have one-word titles: for example “Waves,” “Control,” and “Artifice.” The chapter titled “Waves,” for example, outlines feminist history from the 19th century until today. “Cosmos” explains how the Christian creation accounts differ from more violent and less “good” creation myths, and why that is important for our understanding of the human person and our gender identity.

Favale excels in explaining how a modern concept of “freedom” actually involves denial of the reality of the human person, especially women. She writes:

“Too often, freedom for women is cast as freedom from femaleness. “Autonomy is envisioned according to male parameters, and women are expected to sue invasive chemical and surgical means to conform their bodies to that ideal. Women are not valued simply for being; they must prove their value by doing.”
The Genesis of Gender

A Sensitive and Measured Approach

The chapter titled “Wholeness” is worth the price of the book. Favale shares her story of body dysphoria after giving birth, and the postpartum depression that resulted from it. This is a common experience, and she shows how this sense of “not belonging” in one’s body is near universal at different stages of life. The answer to that discomfort and even pain is not the change of the person, but a radical anthropology of acceptance about how God made us: good. Very good.

It’s demanding—at best—to write about issues that are both complicated and controversial. I admire how Favale writes to inform and enlighten in a way that’s not overwrought, but sensitive and measured.

Not all books are meant for all people, but I heartily recommend reading The Genesis of Gender to anyone—especially women—interested in learning more about gender issues from a feminist and/or Christian perspective with an open mind and a sense of curiosity.

My review in The Catholic Post ends here, but there are many more resources to consider. Here are few:

The Genesis of Gender & Abigail Favale

Obviously, since I reviewed this book, I found it worthwhile. Claire Swinarski hosted a discussion earlier this year with Abigail Favale. You can listen to this if you are a paying subscriber, but I find Claire’s content (Letters from a Catholic Feminist) worth supporting, and I am glad to do so. For instance, she did a read-along of The Genesis of Gender.

The Case Against the Sexual Revolution by Louise Perry

I discovered Louise Perry’s The Case Agains the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century very randomly early in the summer while doing research for a client. [If you’re interested, here’s the episode, which I happened upon during research on Ali Abdaal].

At the time it was not available in the US (she’s a UK writer), but I immediately pre-ordered it. It was extremely well written and well-researched. The fact that it (and many others on the list) are not from a Catholic or even Christian perspective, is instructive in understanding that can be helpful for both people who have a faith tradition, as well as those who do not. These topics and concerns are not solely religious issues, but rather issues related to human flourishing, and especially to women flourishing.

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation by Christine Emba

Rethinking Sex, written by a young Washington Post columnist, was distressing for me to read. I thought things were pretty awful for my generation of women in dating during the 1980s & 1990s, but things are much, much worse. Both Emba and Perry cover how the sexual revolution’s fruits have been most toxic to women, and how modern sexual ethics hamper flourishing and good romantic relationships. I really recommend all young people (especially women), read it to understand that they are not alone in their awful dating experiences, and to understand the importance of seeking healthy relationships.

Amy Welborn on Sex & Gender

Amy Welborn is one of the OG Catholic bloggers, and she’s been writing, publishing books, and just generally being interesting on the Internet for decades. (In 2012, I reviewed Amy’s memoir on losing her husband suddenly) I enjoy her writing, truly hate her movie recommendations, and just in general follow most of what she writes.

In recent years, she has begun writing–somewhat reluctantly–about sex and gender. She is so thoughtful and thorough on the topics that I encourage you to read what she has written. Here is the “Sex & Gender” tab on her website, but she writes about it at least weekly, with updates on current happenings. Highly recommended for keeping up to date, as well as thinking through these issues.

Irreversible Damage by Abigail Schrierer

When I first bought Irreversible Damage several years ago, I kind of hid it away. It seemed almost embarrassing to read it because when it was first released, the overarching view was that if you read it or supported it in any way, you were an officially Bad Person.

But I was curious, and when I read it I could not believe how moderate and sensible it is. It is shocking to me how this book was misrepresented. If you’re not quite ready to read her book, please take a few minutes to read this talk she gave to Princeton students last year. I think it will give an overview of her voice and concerns.

Dialogue

I am genuinely interested in people learning and reading widely on these issues, but I find our current cultural moment makes it difficult to either learn or to discuss these issues freely. I have often said, and I will put out here, that I am happy to read other perspectives and ideas on these topics, and I have. I am just sharing the ones that I have found most resonant. I am genuinely interested to learn of others as well.

“The Good Life Method” Offers Practical Path to Live Well

May 20, 2022 by Nancy Piccione

This is my column that appears in this week’s print edition of The Catholic Post. I invite your feedback!

What is “The Good Life”?

Everyone wants to live a good, happy life. How we get there, and how we live this out, can be a point of disagreement. How do we resolve that?

For instance, in popular culture, there’s often an argument made for something—and I think, “that’s not quite right” or “that’s completely wrong.” But most often I can’t explain the “why” of its faulty thinking.

That’s why I loved The Good Life Method: Reasoning Through the Big Questions of Happiness, Faith, and Meaning by Meghan Sullivan and Paul Blaschko. The book is based on the enormously popular course, “God and the Good Life,” the two teach at the University of Notre Dame.

Note that the word “philosophy” (wisely) does not appear in the title of the book. The subject can be intimidating and off-putting for some readers (like me!) who don’t perceive that they have an aptitude for philosophy. But “The Good Life Method”— in an engaging, enjoyable style—explains these philosophers and philosophical concepts with down-to-earth explanations and real-life examples.

“We need philosophical coaching. Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, the Stoics, Saint Thomas Aquinas —..have all worked out proven methods for bringing direction to tumultuous lives,” Sullivan and Blaschko write. “It is shocking how vibrant and relevant this time-tested guides still are today.”

Virtue Ethics Contrasted With Other Philosophies

The “Good Life Method” focuses chiefly on virtue ethics. This is the idea—laid out by ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle—that begins with the premise living a happy life involves virtues, or good habits and good character.

What’s helpful about the book is how it contrasts virtue ethics with other types of popular philosophical approaches—for instance, consequentialism. Consequentialism posits that the effect of what you do is more important than why you do it—basically, “the ends justify the means.” Consequentialism is incompatible with Catholic reasoning.

One example: when describing how consequentialist philosophers are skeptical of emotions in decision-making (one even wrote a book called “Against Empathy”), Sullivan & Blaschko contrast this with virtue ethics:

“Virtue ethicists…think we should be skeptical of any moral advice that is incapable of appropriately connecting to our emotional lives…. The philosophical heart of virtue ethics is that in the best situation we should want our feelings and actions to line up.”
“The Good Life Method”

The book is divided into two sections: The Good Life, and God and the Good Life.

In the first section, “The Good Life,” Sullivan and Blaschko cover the elements necessary for a good life: desiring truth, living generously, taking responsibility; working with integrity, and loving attentively. Each chapter covers one of these concepts, with relevant explanations of different philosophical principles and what they mean.

The second section, “God and the Good Life,” covers why it is important to consider questions of faith—philosophy about the concept of God; how faith develops; the problem of evil or suffering; purpose for those with faith; and preparing for death (or memento mori).

In parts of these “God” chapters, Sullivan and Blaschko share their faith journeys, one as a college-age convert, one as a cradle Catholic who struggled. They also share how Catholic faith is a critical component of their “good life method.” But since the class is taught to students of all faiths or no faith, the book is written and would be valuable for anyone to read, since it helps readers ask the “big questions” and reflect on them.

At the end of each chapter are “craft” reflection questions and prompts to foster deep thought and discussion. For instance, in the chapter on generosity, it’s titled “Soulcraft: Invest to Flourish.” In the chapter on work, it’s titled “Workcraft: Telling Your Work Story.”

Four Skills Needed to Form a “Philosophy of Life” and Write Your Own “Apology”

The book focuses on the four chief skills needed in forming a “philosophy of life” — asking strong (i.e., meaningful, deep) questions; having agency or control over your life; loving attention; and making meaning of our lives.

The goal of the book is for each reader to develop a “Philosophical Apology” which is part philosophical argument, part personal narrative, part map to the good life.

“It’s a goal-planning document on steroids,” they write.

The “apology” is not just a to-do list, but an exploration and explanation of values, hopes, and reasoning.

“Learning how to tell the true story, and becoming disciplined enough to do it, is how we develop the skill of personal agency,” Sullivan and Blaschko write. “It’s how we learn to take responsibility for our actions.”

Book Bonus: Learning About Renegade Philosophers

A bonus for me in reading “The Good Life Method” was learning more about the 20th century British philosopher Elizabeth Anscombe, one of the “Oxford women.” These female philosophers became influential during and after World War II. She was a devout Catholic and mother of seven, tireless intellectual, and outspoken feminist. Sullivan and Blaschko tell this remarkable story (and other stories) about her:

“Anscombe was stopped at the door of a Boston restaurant where she was told that women wearing parts were not allowed to enter. So, without missing a beat, she took her pants off.”

And the chapter “Take Responsibility,” begins with this “mic drop” quote from an essay Anscombe wrote:

“Principles that are mistakenly high and strict are a trap; they may easily lead in the end directly or indirectly to the justification of monstrous things.”
-Philosopher Elizabeth Anscombe

Why Pursue “The Good Life”?

A quote from the last section of the book seems appropriate to describe why everyone—not just college students or professional thinkers—should understand and implement a philosophical approach to life, with excellent help from “The Good Life Method”:

“Having a vision of the good life—a philosophical theory of what you are aiming at—is not crazy, impossible, or impractical. It is one of the most practical exercises we an understand, since your philosophical views can help you make all of the other very difficult decisions you face.”
Meghan Sullivan & Paul Blaschko in “The Good Life Method”

For those who don’t have a natural knack for understanding philosophy, “The Good Life Method” is a clear and highly accessible “translation” of these concepts, with practical application to everyday life.

“A Catholic Guide to Managing Your Money” Offers Sensible, Values-Driven Approach to Personal Finance

April 21, 2022 by Nancy Piccione

This is my column that appears in this week’s print edition of The Catholic Post. It also appears at my personal finance website Your Money Mom. I invite your feedback!

You know that feeling when two worlds collide? I experienced that recently—in a good way.
It happened when I learned of the new book by Amanda and Jonathan Teixeira, “How to Attack Debt, Build Savings, and Change the World Through Generosity: A Catholic Guide to Managing Your Money,” which, as the title implies, integrates financial skills and planning into a Catholic faith context.

Amanda and Jonathan’s Teixeira’s new book.

Because of my longtime interest in finance, in recent years I’ve been freelance writing on personal finance and other topics; helping people as a financial coach; and enjoying being what like-minded people call a “money nerd.”

I’ve attended the FinCon gathering for financial professionals several times; at the 2019 event, I met Jonathan and Amanda Teixeira. I’m in a different stage of life than they are, but I appreciated connecting with a young couple who—like me—have a strong Catholic faith that informs their money journey.

Now the Teixeiras have written a helpful book on their approach to personal finance: How to Attack Debt, Build Savings, and Change the World Through Generosity: A Catholic Guide to Managing Your Money. The book is based on their online community—called Wallet Win—geared to helping people get on track with money.

The book is a mix of practical, balanced finance advice and personal stories. The Teixeiras alternate narrating sections, infusing their appealing personalities into what can be dry or confusing topics.

While not written only for Catholics—the book is useful for most—Catholic values infuse the book. Each chapter begins with a Scripture quote, and sprinkled throughout are quotes from saints, popes, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

One example:

“When we, as Catholics, give our whole lives to God, that means we live our lives in a way that gives God glory at all times, no matter what we’re doing. German priest, theologian, and Servant of God Romano Guardini said that even the way we climb a tree should show our love for Christ. Similarly, the way we use every cent entrusted to us should be influenced by our faith.”

The Texeiras also share stories related to money from their dating and married life, including arguments on their honeymoon, mistakes in communicating and spending money, and creativity in financing the adoption of their children.

Organization of How to Attack Debt, Build Savings, & Change the World Through Generosity

The book is divided into five parts:

Getting Started (the basics of how they approach money);

Establish Your Financial Foundation (how to improve mindset, learn to budget; and develop an emergency fund);

Gain Momentum With Your Money (including debt payoff and money goals);

Grow Your Wealth (about investing, saving for retirement and kids’ college); and

Live Financial Freedom (giving generously and intentionally).

Interspersed throughout are encouraging “success stories” from Wallet Win students—married couples and singles—who share how they learned to manage money well.

An emphasis is placed on the primacy of paying off debt, especially credit card debt and other “bad” debt, in order to live more securely and abundantly, both in spending and in giving.

“Debt ties your money up in the past instead of letting it work for you in the present and for your future,” they write.

Living Generosity

I appreciated the attention A Catholic Guide to Managing Your Money gives to improving mindset related to money. That’s because understanding one’s ingrained beliefs about money can have a significant effect—positive or negative—on financial health.

An especially thought-provoking chapter is “Live Generously” which outlines the importance of giving. As the Teixeiras write, “Our big goal for getting you financially healthy is for you to be as generous as possible.”

A Catholic Guide to Managing Money is most worthwhile for people at the beginning of their financial journeys, as well as a useful re-set for those in debt, or anyone interested in a solid overview of money management.

I do not agree with every recommendation in the book; for instance, whether or not you should pay off your mortgage, or when you should start saving for retirement. (My view: it’s never too early. That’s why teens who have jobs should also open Roth IRAs. Apologies for the “money nerd” digression). But these are minor.

Just like there are many ways to be Catholic and live out Catholic faith, there are many sensible, virtuous, and exemplary ways to manage money. The more you learn about money matters in a thoughtful and balanced way, the more you can make your own sensible financial decisions.

Amanda and Jonathan Teixeira’s book is a great first step, and a solidly Catholic one, to start on or to continue that journey.

In addition to appearing in The Catholic Post this week, this review also appears on Your Money Mom.